I lean down and put my lips to the crown of her head, breathe her in. “I don’t think there is a word for it. For us.”
“You’re probably right.” She sighs, long and deep.
“So.” I’m a little nervous, suddenly, but I have to ask. “Speaking of us. What’s next?”
“I don’t know. Truly, I…”
“I have to ask you something, Grace. Or tell you. Or… It’s serious.”
“Okay.” Our conversation’s edged so far into the deep that her hesitation’s no surprise.
“First off, I’m in therapy, just so you know.”
“Okay, that’s good. Me, too.” Her shoulder lifts. “When I can afford it.”
“So, if you…we…Okay.” I shut my eyes and get my thoughts straightened out. “My relationship with Helen was complicated. We didn’t always want the same things. I got jealous. Needlessly. It was unhealthy and unfair to her. It ate at our relationship, gnawed away at my insides. Hollowed me out.” It’s hard to keep my voice flat, but I work at it. “Then, one day, she wasdying.”
“Liev, you don’t need to—”
“I do.”
Grace nods, her head bumping my chin. She doesn’t turn around. I appreciate the privacy.
“The jealousy was so petty. So pointless compared to losing her. “I inhale, let it out, lower my mouth and press it to her hair. “Sorry. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
She turns just enough so I can see a tear gather at the edge of her eye. It gets fatter and fatter until it overflows, laying a shiny trail to the corner of her mouth. I lift my hand to wipe it off and stop. It seems wrong suddenly to erase someone else’s sorrow. Just because I can’t stand to see her cry doesn’t mean she doesn’t get to.
My hand’s still hovering when she leans in and presses her tearstained cheek right to it, smearing the wetness against me, sharing her heartache and maybe accepting a measure of mine.
“So, how do you feel about monogamy?” I’m holding my breath.
“Honestly?”
“Yes.”
“I wouldn’t want to share you,” she says, her voice a low growl that sends warmth and shivers up my spine. “Ever.”
“Good.” Relieved, I slip my fingers into her hair and pull her head back, watching the way her eyes glow warm and hungry. “Me neither.”
I want to take her, right here in my lair.
I lean in to stroke my nose up her damp cheek, scenting her, letting her feel the threat and the weight of these feelings I’ve somehow already developed for her. “Do me a favor, will you, Rosebud?”
“Okay.”
“Will you give this a try? Us? It’ll be hard. I’m a pain in the ass and I’ve got growing to do and you’re two hours away, with your own…”
“Responsibilities.”
“Exactly. But this…”Chemistry, craving, connection.“Thisthingbetween us. I think it’s worth the effort. It’s worth a try.”
She twists in my arms and cups my face with those strong, capable hands, drawing so close I have to lean in to hear her whisper. “We’re totally worth it, Liev.” She touches her nose to mine. “I’m all in. I’m yours.”
With a groan, I press my lips to hers and breathe her in, this scent made just for me. Or maybe I’m the one made to her specifications? God, I hope so. I really fucking hope so.
EPILOGUE
Grace
