“You have an idea?”
Nodding scrubs my skin to his. “I know who Iwantyou to be.”
“Yeah, well. Whoever you think I am, it’s not me,” he says with a depressing finality.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply through my nose. Beer, warm skin, maybe soap in there somewhere. “Give me your hand,” I tell him and without hesitation, he moves his can from his one hand to the other.
His skin is cold, the fingers and palm slightly damp from condensation. The rough bits aren’t just calluses, they’re ridges under my fingers, a bas-relief; a map. I trace each bump, remembering how it felt against my body, then lift his hand to my face. Oh, there it is. I remember this from last night. From the time before, too. Memories flood in with this smell, the way they often do—scrubbing my hands in the big, dirty sink in art class back in school. Watching the paint slough off in little chips and swirl down the drain.
“Lava soap,” I tell him, pressing my smile to one thick knuckle.
He stiffens, but doesn’t take his hand away.
Slowly, as if the dark will somehow last forever, giving us all the time in the world, I chart every dip of his hand with my lips, test every peak with my teeth, smooth every cut with my tongue.
The man lets me, which is some kind of new moon witchcraft. I’ll take it, whatever his reason for staying still.
Laughing at myself, I weigh his hand in both of mine, then feed the tip of his finger into my mouth, lick it, and suck it deep, wondering why I’ve never found this act sexy before. I get lost like this for a bit, just sucking, licking, tasting.
With a gruff sound, he eases a second finger in.
I accept his offering, shut my eyes and revel in his fascinating topography. This growing hunger will take whatever he wants to give me. He lets me suck him, not moving or shoving or forcing or any of those things I’ve seen people do to each other this week. Things he’s done to me. Things I’d gladly take again.
After a while, something in him wakes up. I feel the change as he takes the exploration both ways. His blunt fingers twist slightly in my mouth, seeking details of their own. They run over my teeth, the insides of my cheeks, and my tongue, finally sliding back far enough to almost gag me. I enjoy the rush of warmth to my sex, a reaction I do not understand in the slightest.
My body’s humming with the desire for more—bigger, harder, deeper.
He moves beside me and now his other hand wraps around my throat and I want this. All of it: the tender touches, the familiar smells, my limits being pushed.
His fingers curl up and separate, gagging me. I could stop him right now, but I’m clenching his wrist and keeping him here, right back in that animal place we share.
“This what you want?” he mutters, low and a little angry against my ear.
I nod, helpless to refuse. All I want is the taste of his skin
“You want to be forced to take whatever I give you, here in the dark?”
I choke trying to answer. He pulls his fingers out, spreads their wet caress on my cheek.
“Say it.”
“Yes.”
“I want to hear what you want. Say it out loud.”
Breathing hard, caught between scratchy bark and coarse skin, I look at his wide shape in the dark, open my mouth, and give him the truth. “I want you.”
“Goddammit.” He sighs. “Come here.”
16
Liev
In the next breath,she’s over me, on me, straddling my lap, her hands wrapping around my neck, my fingers already entwined in the long ropes of her hair, holding her to me, keeping her close. Her lips are lush and warm against mine, the kiss so ravenous and raw that for a handful of seconds, spots dance in the air around us.
I crush her soft mouth from below, filled with something more than want, bordering on need and obsession. This isn’t a kiss, it’s mouth-to-mouth, a revival, an angel dragging me back from the dead. I lick and bite and suckle her tongue. It tastes like cold beer and new beginnings. Like the dead of night dancing with the first strains of dawn. She tastes like a warm, sweet woman whose cunt I’ve fucked and feasted on, but whose name I don’t even know.
I pull away, enjoying the soft suction of lips loathe to let go.
