“Need more.”Lie.
“I’ll help, then. Then we’ll both go to bed.”
She cringed at the domesticity of her words, while he made a weird, hoarse strangled noise.
“I can’t be in there right now.”
Claustrophobia, she thought.
Or he hates me.That was the likelier of the two, considering the way things had started between them. But hadn’t the last few days changed that for him the way they had for her? Weren’t they a team? Did he not like her even a little?
“It’s me, isn’t it?” Her voice was higher than she’d have liked. She hated how weak it sounded in front of this man with his big muscles and bigger brain.
He shook his head slowly, then surprised her by saying, “Yes.”
It sent a punch to her gut. If she’d been back home or at the station or any other place, she’d have spun on her heel and taken off. But here, there was nowhere to go.
“What’d I do?”Don’t cry. Don’t do it. Don’t show him you care.
“What’d you…” He finally straightened and stormed a few steps closer—close enough for her to see that every hair on his face was frost-rimed. It made him look older, and also, in a weird way, terribly mortal. Even he couldn’t win against this weather. “What’d youdo?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, swallowing back the tears. “So I don’t do it again.”
“So you don’t…” He shook his head and turned away, muttering, before looking back at her again. “You’re so…much.”
She stepped back as if he’d hit her. “What?”
“You’ve got to behardto survive this place, Angel. And you’renot. You’re all softness.” He waved a hand at her, then turned away. “It’s already sucking the life out of you. What’ll I do if you…” He shuddered. “If you don’t survive this?”
Slowly, fueled by shock, her mouth dropped open.
With a frustrated huff, he threw down the shovel and moved closer. “You know what happens if the ice takes me, Angel? Nothing. Not a thing. I’ve been out here almost every day for years. Ilikeit here. I belong here. I fully expect to end my days on the ice. Butyou, with your…” He waved at her. “Curves and lips. That laugh. The way you dive into people and experiences and eat up the world like you’ll never get enough. When you look at me like you did in there.” He pointed now, emphatically, at the tent. “Like I’ve just saved the damned planet. Like you want me to—” He cleared his throat, seemingly speechless.
What was he angry at exactly? Was it that he couldn’t protect her? Couldn’t keep her alive? But, wait, did helikethose things he’d mentioned? Her body, her laugh?Her?
He was as confused about this attraction as she was. The realization hit her like a frying pan to the head. Which meant he definitely felt it.
All the times he’d ignored her at the station, put his head down and pretended not to hear, or walked in the opposite direction when he saw her coming: attraction. Unwanted, apparently, but attraction nonetheless.
“Youlikeme,” she finally said with a grin.
And, though she had no idea why, she could tell that he was not happy about it. At all.
* * *
This wasn’t supposed to happen right now. Or ever.
He should’ve known with the foot thing. Should have stopped it right away. In this deadly environment, the last thing he needed was to lose it.
What went entirely against his grain was that he didn’twantto resist her.And, a whiny little voice inside him asked,if we’re not going to survive this anyway, then why the hell should I fight it?
Unbidden, a wave of tension stronger than anything he’d felt in a decade swept up, grabbed his body, his emotions, and every last bit of control and sent him the last three steps to where she stood, probably freezing in the polar night.
“You…” Dammit, his voice wouldn’t survive this trip. But he’d say what he had to say. He’d say this at least, and then he could stop talking. He grabbed her head, except with his thick gloves and her hat and hood, he didn’t get a drop of her heat. Which was good, probably, though he craved it the way he craved food at the end of each day on the ice. “Listen.”
She went very still, but even that stillness was almost sensuous against his hands, which was crazy. Absolute lunacy. It reminded him of the way she pressed to him in their bag. He shook his head to clear it. “You’re gonna ski faster tomorrow. You’ll go”—he coughed, cleared his throat, and went on, almost at a whisper—“farther. Because if we don’t do more miles every day, we run out of food.”
No way would he be responsible for snuffing out a light like hers. So bright he hadn’t been able to look at it head-on until now.
