She shrugged and sipped at her drink, arms crossed protectively in front of her chest.
“Yeah, me too,” he said. “So, you want to start over again?”
She nodded, but still they sank back into silence. Ivan bent down and nudged at Squeak until she turned and gave him her belly. He tickled her, big fingers softly mussing her fur.
It occurred to Uma that she didn’t have a story ready. She’d never imagined herself having to explain why she’d come to Blackwood. She’d always assumed that she wouldn’t meet anyone, wouldn’t make friends.
With Joey, her friends had been picked off, one by one, deemed unfit for their company. By the end, she’d been entirely cut off from nearly everyone. He’d isolated her, left her with no one to turn to but him. His tactics seemed obvious in hindsight, but at the time…
“I’m sorry I was so short. I just… I recently got out of a really…a relationship.” There, she’d told him. Sort of.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about.”
“So, you have a big family around here?” she asked, the only thing she could think of to say.
“Jessie, who you know. And her son, Gabe.”
“Right.”
“That’s it. You got family?”
“My mom’s in India. She lives on an ashram, does yoga and stuff.”
“Oh. Interesting. That it?”
“Pretty much. My, uh…my dad died when I was in high school.” Why was she telling him all this?
“Hmm.”
“You got parents?”
“Not really. Never knew my dad. And Mom…she’s gone too. Long time ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, then seemed to hesitate for a moment before leaning forward to say quietly, “Look, you need someone to talk to him for you?” His body tensed, oozing menace, and she wondered what kind of atalking-tohe meant.
Uma shivered, a not unpleasant sensation. “Who?”
“Asshole you’re runnin’ from. One’s got you shittin’ your pants anytime a guy gets within spittin’ distance of you.”
“No,” she responded, although a small, craven part of her imagined him pummeling Joey’s face into the ground. His thick knuckles looked like they’d crunched their fair share of cartilage and bone. At the gym, she’d seen the potential damage he could do with that body. She had the feeling that if she said the word, he’d do it.
But no. Poor guy was probably some peaceful animal lover, minding his own business, and here she was, yet again, fantasizing him into the role of gladiator. “I don’t need help. I’m fine.” A statement so blatantly untrue, she could hardly expect him to believe it. “Besides, I’m learning self-defense.”
“That’s right. Good.” He nodded with a smile. “I could teach you more, if you want.”
“Oh, sure. Yeah. Thanks.” Uma pictured the two of them going over those same moves, but someplace private, like right here in his overcrowded forge. She couldn’t quite manage it, though, because every time she imagined their bodies coming together, it was on the bed, and the choreography much more illicit.
She snuck another look at him, his plaid shirt opened over a dark-colored T-shirt. His jeans looked filthy, but she figured that came with the territory. Blacksmithing didn’t seem like a neat occupation. The denim curved around his thighs like a glove, tighter than most guys around here seemed to wear. She wondered if he had a hard time finding pants that fit him. Slim waist paired with thick legs. Tall enough to make you do a double take. She’d be safe with a man like that standing guard. The memory of being carried by him, face pressed to his chest, was so visceral, so real, she could almost feel it still.
“Thanks for letting me warm up, Ivan.” She’d let the warm fire, booze, and the sight of those hypnotic hands caressing the peacefully snoring dog all work together to lull her into a false sense of safety, of belonging. It was time to go before she started believing it.
When she handed him her empty mug, their fingers touched briefly, and something flared, so ephemeral that she wanted to reach out and touch him again, just to see.
“So, you want to go out sometime?” His words stopped the glow, made it real and not something she’d imagined.
Go out? No.No, Uma couldn’t go out with him, even though he didn’t scare her anymore. She couldn’t get embroiled with another man.
