“What about you?”
“Whataboutme?” Oh, there was the challenge he’d been expecting.
“You got the animals and me all accounted for. Although maybe not Pepe. Now, what about you, Uma? Where’re you gonna sit?”
“Hmm.” She slitted her eyes and took a slow turn around the room. “I imagine a dusty blue or turquoise chaise.”
“A chaise?”
“Or a fainting couch. And lamps. If you think that overhead light’s staying on all the time, you’ve got another think coming.”
“Lamps,” he repeated, allowing the tiniest bit of hope to well up in his chest. “Come on. I’ll show you the rest in a minute, but you gotta see this first.” He led the way back into the entryway and up the stairs, to the last door on the landing—the master bedroom.
He pushed the door open on the only furnished space in the house. He’d gotten a big bed—king size, just in case—and rugs to keep her feet warm in the morning when she got up. Bedside tables and a mirror and hangers in the closet. The quilt from his workshop was here, clean and folded across the foot of the bed. There were a few odds and ends, like the bookshelves and ratty armchair from out back. It didn’t look completely done yet, but it was cozy. Almost like a home.
“This is yours, Uma. Your bedroom. Not mine, not ours. Yours.”
“Wha—”
“Hang on. Let me explain.” He rushed to stop her, touching her arm and wishing he could pull her into his body entirely. “What you decide to do is your choice. I get that. And the last thing I want to do is take that away from you. But I want you to understand…” Ive swallowed and looked away from those luminescent eyes. “Sometimes in life, you work hard for somethin’ without knowin’ quite why.Now I know.I’ve been workin’ on this house all these years for you. For us.”
“Ivan—”
“Wait. I’m not tryin’ to force your hand. And we’ve only known each other a few weeks, so… This place, it’s yours.”
“The room is beautiful, bu—”
“Not the room. The house. The house isyours, Uma. For as long as you want. Forever. With or without me.”
“That’s… I can’t take—”
“You can do your photography. And I’ll keep doin’ my thing. You can keep checkin’ on the old bat next door, if you still feel the nee—”
“Stop.”
He stopped. She moved forward and put one slender hand on his chest.
“Why did you decide not to go after Joey?”
“Aw, hell.” He stepped back and thought about it. There were lots of reasons, some of them having to do with survival and self-awareness. But the most important was the realization that he’d taken her power away from her, by going against her will. Exactly the way Joey had when he’d tied her up and hurt her. Ivan would never do that again. “It’s complicated.”
“Try me.”
“First of all, I had to go. I had to.” Unconsciously, his hand went to rub his chest, hard. “Thought I was gonna die, Uma, when I saw what he did to you.”
“I thought you didn’t—”
“I couldn’t live with it, you know? My body, my brain, it was like they’d seen you got hurt by him, and there was nothin’ left but makin’ him pay. No choice but to go. It’s what I do when I love someone. I can’t…” He shut his eyes tight, opened them, and met hers. “And then I got there, fuckin’ crazy as hell, and I saw myself. I saw…who I coulda been and who you woulda been if he hadn’t done that.”
“Oh, Ivan. You shouldn’t do that to yourself.”
“No, but you know what I realized? It’s gonna sound insane, but…if he hadn’t hurt you, if I hadn’t made all my stupid mistakes, if…if the ad hadn’t run in theGazetteand… You wouldn’t be here.”
She gasped at his words—a tiny sound, but enough. Just enough for him to latch on to. “We wouldn’t be here, baby, if we hadn’t gone through all that shit. And I couldn’t imagine not goin’ home and seein’ you again. Gettin’ to know you.” He leaned in, eyes down, and put his forehead to hers. “How could I find out everything there is to love about my woman if I break the first promise I ever made her?” He whispered the last bit.
Another sound, this time the shaky sound of Uma crying, and he cringed before starting to pull away. But she stopped him with a hand to the back of his head and a quick, wet kiss.
“I didn’t think you’d listened,” she whispered. “I thought you…didn’tcare.”
