He pressed his cheek against her temple. Breathing the words into her ear, he grated, “I have asked too much of you, my Shiya, and given you nothing in return. To know that you are afraid even when I’m with you is— it guts me. You should never feel fear when we’re together. Never.”
Something in his voice changed when he continued, “Hear me now,minu metsalill:this will pass. You will never be put in this position again. You will never fear again. But for right now, you must trust me.”
She could only nod. Words couldn’t make it out of her throat even if she could think of what to say.
Taevas’s sigh fluttered through her tangled hair. “We will bathe. You will let me care for you, and then we will figure out our next steps. Understood?”
A strangled laugh escaped her. “You’re being bossy again.”Gods, I’m going to miss that so much.
“Even a queen needs to be told what to do every now and again,” he replied, already guiding her out of the living room and down the hall to the bathroom.
Yeah,she silently agreed.But only if it’s you.
They barely managed to squeeze into the bathroom together, but Taevas was determined, so of course he made it happen. Alashiya watched him shed his dirt-soiled pants with a mix of fondness and anticipatory grief. He did it so shamelessly, so comfortably — like he belonged there, not just in her tiny bathroom butwithher.
It was like they’d done this a thousand times. Taevas got the shower going while she slid off the tattered remains of her slip, and when the room began to fill with steam, he grabbed her hand and carefully guided her over the lip of the antique bathtub.
The water pressure wasn’t great and there was barely an inch of free space to move around, but neither of them cared. Taevas placed her head on his chest and guided her backward until the hot water splashed down her spine. It should’ve been too warm for a summer afternoon, but at some point her internal temperature had gone haywire, leaving her feeling chilled to her marrow.
Big hands glided over her wet curves and delicately combed through her curls, picking out twigs, feathery bits of moss, and bracken. She shuddered at the ticklish sensation and melted into him.
“That’s better,” he crooned, sounding deeply self-satisfied. “Soft and at ease. Letting me tend to you makes everything right again. This is how it should be.”
Her chest still felt too tight, that hook pulling constantly onher heart, but he was right. She did feel a little better. It was hard not to when his heartbeat thundered under her ear like the perfect drumbeat it was.
Closing her eyes, she turned her head just enough to catch a drop of water as it slid down his skin. It tasted just a bit sweeter for having touched him.
“Aren’t you worried?” She couldn’t help but ask. He was all urgency and terror when they met in the woods, but now he seemed worryingly calm.
“I am,” he answered, reaching for her washcloth. Dabbing a bit of soap on it, he began to scrub the sweat and… other things from her skin. “I ammorethan worried. I am also fucking furious that we are in this position at all. I want nothing more than to steal away with you right this second and put you where you belong — safe in our nest.”
Rinsing the cloth free of suds, he used warm water and gentle pressure to cleanse the apex of her thighs. A jolt of discomfort made her tense up, but Taevas made a soothing sound and held the cloth there for a moment, letting the warmth ease some of the sting.
“But you are my first concern in all things,” he continued, his voice dropping into a hypnotic bass note that made her eyelids droop. She didn’t realize how exhausted she was until he brushed her eyelids with wet fingers, urging them to close. “You are the beat of my heart and my fire and the joy of my nest. Without you, I have nothing. So I will always tend to you first. Everything else will wait.”
She made a noncommittal noise. “You have a territory to get back to, Taevas. I’m not more important than that.”
Instead of replying, Taevas set the wash cloth aside and cupped the back of her head, holding her even closer as the water pelted them both. “I have a question for you.”
“Okay.”
“Why were you so certain I wouldn’t get you pregnant?” Histone was perfectly level, revealing nothing. “Was it simply the heat of the moment? If so, we should discuss?—”
Alashiya shook her head as much as their position allowed. It was a good thing the water was hot, or else he’d notice her full-body flush that accompanied the memories of what they’d done in the woods. “No, it wasn’t. Nymphs can't have children with people outside of the hyphae.”
“What?”
“That’s why marriage is so important to us,” she explained, properly drowsy now. “If I marry a nymph, it’s more of a formality, but if I marry outside of the hyphae the ceremony brings them in. That way we can have children, and those children will be born in the hyphae, too.”
Taevas’s chest moved under her cheek with a sharp inhalation. “How does that work?”
“Blood,” she answered, recalling all those times she’d sacrificed a drop to Adon’s clothing. To keep him safe. To tie them together in the only way she could. Little sacrifices to bind her magic more tightly into the weave, yes, but also a shallow imitation of the connection she so craved.
The hook behind her chest tugged gently. A tiny push against the soft meat of her heart. For the first time since they’d met, she really examined the feeling — only to immediately shy away from what she found.
Blood calls to blood. Hyphae to hyphae.
“You have to be infected with the mycelium. When we—Imarry, I’d give my blood to my partner and vice versa. When the hyphae takes, a pregnancy can happen. Otherwise the mycelium sees it as a threat and destroys it.”
