“For today or more long term?”
Not sure she could face the idea of long term plans yet, she answered, “Today.”
“I am going to meet with my Wing and my council to get up to speed on everything that happened while I was gone.Youare going to rest. Eat. Be pampered for the first time in your life.”
Alashiya turned around to fix him with a troubled look. He was tightening a black leather belt around his hips, his claws deftly handling the sleek gold buckle in a few graceful movements. He looked so whole and hale standing before her, but she couldn’t banish the image of him in the back of that car, his powerful body ruined.
“What about the healers? You should still be in the hospital. You said you’d rest if you were home, but none of that sounded like rest.”
“I’m sure they’ll be hovering,” he replied, running his claws through the long, wet strands of his hair. “But aside from my wings, I feel good. Better than I have in weeks.”
“Did they tell you what’s wrong with your wings?”
He looked away quickly. Reaching for the same white shirt that had drawn her attention, he wordlessly asked for her help in maneuvering around his bound wings. Only when she was behind him did he answer her. “No, they didn’t. I think they’re waiting to give me the bad news.”
Alashiya’s heart squeezed. Pressing her palm between the powerful joints of his wings, she whispered, “I don’t believe that.”
“Wings are delicate, my Shiya,” he replied. Something in the matter-of-fact way he said it left her feeling like he was trying to cover up just how devastating an inability to use his wings would be. “It’s possible they won’t ever be fixed. Or they’ll never be completely the same. I might never be able to fly again. Or… or embrace you as I should.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she carefully avoided his wings as she pressed her forehead into the muscled gap between his shoulder blades. She didn’t offer him platitudes or empty hopes. She knew what it was like to ache for something taken from her.
“I’ll be here no matter what happens,” she murmured, pressing her hands into the bare skin below his unbuttoned shirt.
Taevas bowed his head. Releasing a slow breath, he rumbled, “I know, my Shiya. That’s why I want you to rest today. Let me take care of you for a change.”
A wave of unease rolled through her. “You want me to stay here? By myself? I don’t have anything to do.”
He squeezed her hands. “That’s the point. You’ve never had a true day of rest in your life. Let me take care of you and give you the chance to settle in — especially after what you went through at the hands of our own people. You earned some pampering, Shiya.”
Her throat constricted hard. “Taevas, I just…”
Perhaps hearing something in her voice, he grabbed her forearms and used them to guide her back around to his front.
“Something’s bothering you,” he murmured. “Tell me what it is, Shiya. What’sreallybothering you?”
She didn’t want to. She didn’t even know if she could. Alashiya didn’t regret what she’d done to keep him alive, but that didn’t mean it was right. But she also couldn’t keep it in any longer. As she’d come to realize, putting off the hardthings didn’t make them any easier to deal with. If anything, it made it a whole lot harder.
I’m not a coward,she reminded herself.I’m brave. I can do this. I can tell him.
His arms tightened around her. “Tell me what?”
Alashiya jumped. “What? I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes, you did.” A puzzled frown deepened the corners of his mouth when he slowly repeated, “You said,I can do this. I can tell him.Just now.”
“No, I didn’t.” Goosebumps lifted the fine hairs on her arms.
“You did,” he insisted. Taevas lifted a hand to rub his forehead. “I heard you. Ikeephearing you. When I was in the hospital, I could’ve sworn… I woke up and I could’veswornyou were right next to me. I could feel you.”
Her stomach curdled. Alashiya’s toes curled reflexively against the cool stone as she wrapped her arms around her middle. Bile crept up the back of her throat.
I thought I had a little more time.
She’d hardly had a moment to really sit with what she’d done, let alone how long it would take for the hyphae to present itself to him. Of course she could feel him in it, but she’d always been told that it could take days, even weeks for spouses to integrate into the network. Some, like a handful of her relatives, were never truly able to access it.
The idea that Taevas would be so quickly accepted by the hyphae and able to hear her hadn’t even occurred to her.
A wild, reckless sort of joy lodged itself behind her breastbone. It burned like a flame in her chest, hot enough to sear away the fear that threatened to seal her lips shut. What a gift it was to know her family had accepted him.
