Dahlia pulled back with a shudder, her breathing heavy. She rested her temple on his shoulder as her body lost all its tension.
“You did great, pet,” he sighed, cuddling her close to his chest. “I’m fucking honored to be your first bite. And your last.”
She said nothing.
He hummed, riding the pleasant high of her venom as it made its lazy way through his system. He’d always wondered what it’d be like to experience venom. Now he understood a little of what a vampire brought to the table. It didn’t completely negate the bite, of course, but it was a nice perk. The closest thing he could equate it to was drinking a smooth alcoholic synth. It was just enough of a buzz to feel loose and warm.
That was probably why it took him a second to notice she was shaking.
Suddenly on high alert, Felix sat up a little and tried to get a good look at her. Dahlia had gone sickly pale. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her lips were clamped between her teeth as silent tears tracked down her cheeks.
Salt bloomed in the air, souring the sweet scent of her and the musk of sex.
“Dahlia,” he whispered, stroking her cheek. Worry cut through him. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me. Did you hurt yourself? DidIhurt you? Should I call Alvin back?”
Seeing his proud Dahlia reduced to tears was gutting. Felix floundered, helpless and increasingly alarmed, when she pressed her face into his ravaged neck and let out a plaintive cry.
“What’swrongwith me?”
Holding her closer, he answered, “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect.”
“I don’t want to be a vampire,” she cried, shoulders shaking in earnest as she fought back sobs. “I don’t want to drink blood. I don’t want to— to— feed on you or bite you when you make meso mad I could spit. I’ve become an animal. I just want to go back to how I was before.”
Regret wasn’t something he felt often, but when he did, it was excruciating.
Felix silently cursed himself as he stroked and kissed her hair. “Oh, pet. No. You didn’t bite me because you were mad. You bit me because you werepossessive.That’s just being a vampire, Dahlia. It’s instinct. I knew it and I pushed anyway to see what you’d do. I’m sorry. I forget that this is new for you. I should’ve… I should’ve been gentler with your first bite. I didn’t think and fucked up.”
She sniffled. “Did the boogeyman just say sorry?”
“He’s been known to do it every now and again.” Felix pressed another kiss to her hair, a little bit of his worry easing. Hearing a little of her spark come back didn’t help the regret, though. If anything, it made it worse.
I have to be careful with her,he thought, unpleasantly reminded of Alastair’s cutting remark.
In a more serious voice, he added, “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but I also need to be honest with you, Dahlia: you being turned is the best fucking thing to ever happen to me. Even if that does mean I’ll have to deal with the prick Alastair Bowan forever.”
“Because you needed a blood bride.”
“Because I need you,” he corrected her. “It would’ve killed me to give you up.”
“But you would’ve.” There was an understandable note of accusation in her tone, but it was overshadowed by her curiosity. “Why? I never clocked you as the type to give up the things you want. No one tells Felix Amauri what to do, right?”
Resting his cheek against her hair, he let out a heavy breath. “No one except you.”
“I’m being serious.”
“So am I. You don’t seem to understand how much control you have over me, pet. Someday soon you’re going to figure it out. I honestly can’t wait.” He was quiet for a moment, trying to sort through his thoughts so he could explain himself to her in the way she deserved.
They both knew he wasn’t good at this feelings shit, but he owed it to her to try. She’d given him her trust — conditional and perhaps ill-informed as it was — and that meant he had to return the favor.
Clearing his throat, he said, “But there are some things that even I can’t fuck around with. My family is one of them. If it was just me and you, I would’ve made you mine the night we met. But it’s not and never has been. I owe my cousins my loyalty. They’re my responsibility. Not just them, but their kids, too. Keeping them safe sometimes means I don’t get what I want.”
He wasn’t sure what to make of the surprise in her voice when she replied, “Your family means a lot to you.”
“Why so shocked? Don’t most people care about their families?”
Dahlia sat up a little, dislodging his head. She still looked pale and shaken, but there was some life in her eyes when she deadpanned, “Felix, you blew up your aunt.”
“It’s complicated,” he replied, smoothing his hands up and down her bare arms. He couldn’t tell if the touch was meant to soothe her or himself. Not that it mattered. He’d always be greedy for her, and he’d never take it for granted that she belonged to him.
