Atticus had such an intense frown. Everything about him seemed to be turned up to the highest volume at all times. His eyes. His voice. His tattoos. His feelings. She could see the conflict in every line of his expression, and that bothered her.
Reaching up to smooth the lines from his forehead with her fingers, she admitted, “I also just wanted you. I felt safe wanting you, being touched by you. Even if there’d been another person around, I would have chosen you. Is that bad?”
In the moment, she hadn’t been thinking of her virginity or its weight. Her ploy had only made it as far as him pulling his collar aside for her to drink. After that, she’d been driven by little more than pure carnal need andhim.
The tension around his eyes eased. Atticus snagged her wrist. Pressing it to his mouth, he breathed against her fluttering pulse, “No, doll. It’s not bad.”
He tucked her head into the crook of his neck and held her like that for a while. She didn’t complain. All the tense muscles of her body relaxed for the first time since things went sideways. Her eyes grew heavy-lidded. She very subtly turned her nose into his throat and breathed deep, taking the rich scent of him into her body.
The screaming thing in her chest went quiet.He’s so warm. So gentle with me. If I could stay here forever, I would.
Not because she wanted to change her fate. Not because he’d saved her. Not because she needed a protector.
It was because he felt like home.
Atticus idly brushed his claws through her hair for a while before he asked, “Why didn’t you say yes to the elf, doll?”
“I… didn’t want to leave you.”
A soft puff of air escaped him. Not quite a sigh and not a gasp, but a sound of astonishment nonetheless. “Do you trust me?”
“I think I could.”
“That’s a start.” He turned his head to skim his lips over her forehead. “Everything is gonna be okay, doll.”
She let out a sharp exhale before admitting, “I’m scared to go with Michael.”
He tensed. “Why?”
“I don’t know him.” She picked at the fabric of his shirt. “He’s not you. When I think about leaving you, it doesn’t feel right. Like stepping off a cliff I can’t see.”
She expected him to immediately reassure her, but he didn’t. Instead, he gravely agreed, “You’re right. Gods, you’re so fuckin’ brave, Carmine. So brave. This would scare the shit out of me, too. Being passed around, not sure if anything was true or if I’dend up someplace worse than where I already was. I could be sending you with anyone, to anywhere.”
Panic momentarily took hold of her. “Please don’t.”
Don’t lie. Don’t break my heart.
Having that tiny bud of trust crushed would be a massive blow. Maybe one she couldn’t come back from.
Atticus cupped her cheek. Pulling back a bit, he looked down at her. Perfectly solemn, he promised, “I won’t. As much as it kills me to say it, you’re going to be safe with Michael. He’s a good man. He’ll drive you to the estate. Shouldn’t take more than three hours, and you’ll be safe from the sun in the blacked out backseat. You’ll be greeted by Zia and the boss and my sister who are going to stay up to wait for you. Adriana will probably cry. She does that a lot. And then I’ll meet you there. Make sure your house is all set up. You’ll be safe, Carmine. I won’t sleep until you feel it.”
“Okay.” She let out a shaky breath. “Okay.”
He seemed to understand that she wouldn’t be able to truly believe it until she saw it all in front of her, real and hers. Eyelids lowering, he murmured, “We have a few minutes before Michael should be here. I don’t want you leaving my sight with an empty stomach. You hungry, doll?”
Her belly swooped. “Yes.”
Atticus thumbed her lower lip. His touch was featherlight, his eyes dark. “I don’t want you being hungry around another man, fucked up as that sounds.” He leaned down to bump the tips of their noses together. In a softer, huskier voice, he continued, “I want you to feed from me, doll. Just me.”
Peeking through her lashes, she asked a question that had nagged at her, “Do you want to feed fromme?”
His breath hissed from between his fangs. “You have no fucking idea, but you’re not strong enough for that yet.” Pressing his thumb into the divot between her lip and chin, he appliedgentle pressure until her lips parted. “And I love your bite, doll. I want to feel your fangs one more time before the real world tries to steal you from me.”
That was a dangerous game. If he didn’t want to be her anchor, then they couldn’t do it more than a handful of times. Even two was pushing it. More than that and they ran the risk of her venom taking. Becoming an anchor could be reversed, of course, but venom withdrawal was horrific. Even a temporary anchor suffered when they stopped receiving regular injections.
But she didn’t say that. She didn’t want to say no, and she didn’t want him to be smart. There was every chance that she’d get into Michael’s car and she’d never see Atticus again. He could betray her. Michael could betray him. Her groom could snatch her. Anything could happen, and even if it didn’t, everything would change once they left the safe bubble of the RV.
In all likelihood, she’d never get a chance to taste him again. Of course she was going to take it.
