His expression was drawn tight when he rasped, “Do you understand?”
Atria couldn’t breathe. The current of his emotions was a cyclone around her, full of uncertainty, guilt, worry, affection, lust, and a yearning so deep, it felt like it was being drawn from the black depths of a void.
Nothing in his expression hinted at the turmoil in him, but shefeltit in her magical center, the radiant heart of her very soul. This fierce, taciturn man who had saved her life again and again was… lost. Overwhelmed.Drowning.
Comprehension came at last.He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Kaz is afraid.
And when she felt the cutting edge of his worry —desperation —Atria finally realized what exactly he was trying to tell her: the only way he could express the tumult inside of him was toprotect.Even one tiny pinprick to her thumb threatened his equilibrium, puncturing the paper-thin wall he kept around his vulnerabilities. If he couldn’t guard her, he couldn’t control his world — or himself.
Her chest gave a painful twist.Soothe. Unravel. Ease the ache.
Carefully, afraid she might startle the deadly creature who carried such a storm inside him, Atria arched onto her tiptoes to slide her arms around his neck. His warmth blazed through the thin material of her clothing.
Speaking into the smooth skin of his throat, she whispered, “I understand.”
Using invisible hands, she reached into that chaotic ocean to touch that deep, chilly yearning.I’m here,she conveyed to that part of him, letting her magic sing in the electric space between their souls.It’s okay to be a little lost, as long as we’re together.
Kaz shuddered. Breath sifting through her hair, he whispered, “Is it always like this?”
“What part?”
“All of it.”
Atria hugged him closer. “I don’t think so.”
I have a mate.She had to touch the thought gingerly, afraid it might disappear if she was too eager.He doesn’t belong to someone else. The kohl is for me.
She breathed out an unsteady sigh as she lowered her arms. Her fingers slid down his shoulders, his biceps, over the dips and peaks of his jacket’s folds, to eventually find his hands.
Hefting them in front of her, Atria swallowed her nerves and examined the dark pigment, the iridescent sheen that was still striking in the ugly glow of the dull, solar-powered lights of the rest stop.
He belongs to me.
Atria dared to press a kiss into the precise center of each callused palm. Then, looking up at him through her lashes, she said, “We should get some rest.”
For several long moments, Kaz didn’t move. She didn’t press. Atria held his hands in hers and waited for the storm to settle.
Finally, he straightened his spine, one vertebrae at a time, until he was looking down at her from his great height. Kaz gave her an inscrutable look as he untangled their fingers and turned to open the back door for her.
“In you go,” he said, tone gruff.
Atria ducked under his arm to climb into the back seat on her hands and knees. She heard Kaz hiss in a breath through his teeth, but he otherwise remained quiet as she settled herself on one side of the flattened seats. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed, but she was a Sanctuary child. Even a flattened seat was better than the mats she’d slept on for most of her life.
“Where did you find the blanket?” she asked, staring at it quizzically even as she slid beneath it.
“I always carry a blanket in my go-bag.”
She settled her head on what looked like a bunched up hoodie and was immediately soothed by the scent of clean laundry, musk, and citrus. “Is this yours, too?”
Kaz leaned into the open doorway, his dark eyes shadowed but focused on where she lay nestled into what was obviously his clothing. His voice dropped an octave when he answered, “Yes.”
Satisfaction. Lust. Yearning.
Atria basked in the whirl of his emotions, letting them buffet her in pleasurable bursts. Eyelids lowering, she lifted up one corner of the blanket. “C’mere.”
That must have been what he was waiting for, because Kaz didn’t waste a second dawdling. In what felt like a blink, he hauled his hulking frame into the once-roomy cab of the SUV, shucked his jacket, boots, socks, and shirt, and climbed under the blanket with her.
It was obviously only meant for one person, so it barely covered the both of them. Atria didn’t mind at all. With the door closed, the cab was dark, quiet, and warm. She was content to let Kaz arrange her how he wanted, which ended up being with her back against his chest and his bulk curled around her. One thick bicep quickly replaced his hoodie as her pillow, and his other hand spanned the width of her stomach with a pleasant heaviness.
