She could havelosthim.
“I’m scared something will happen to you if I’m not there,” she finally admitted, the words as quick and unsteady as her rapid heartbeat. “And not being able to sense you makes me feel— it’s like I’ve gone blind, Kaz. Like you’ve walked away with my heart, my hands, my senses. I was so scared last night when I woke up and you weregone.”
A deep, thrumming purr vibrated his chest. Atria wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him as close as she could, half wishing she could burrow into that strong chest and live there.I don’t care if he doesn’t want a bond. I don’t care if he never says he loves me,she thought, struck by a terrifying clarity.I can’t be without him.
So he wasn’t ready for a mate three years ago? Fine. She wasn’t either, really.
Had the revelation seriously hurt her feelings? Yes, but he’d more than shown her how much he wanted her, valued her. If he didn’t quite understand his own feelings yet, then that was okay. She could wait. She could wait forever, so long as he kept her close and never made her wake up in their nest alone again, blind to him.
She didn’t realize she was crying until Kaz kissed her tears away. “Shh, princess. I’m here. I promise everything’s okay.”
Yes, it was. They had a battalion of terrifying elves guarding them now. They had a plan to get her to the conference. Things were looking up. He was with her. He was unharmed.
Perhaps it was the exhaustion speaking, but Atria couldn’t quite wrap her head around that — or maybe she could, and it was the jittery aftermath of expelled terror that made her heart ache so much.
“I’m so sorry you were scared,” he whispered, rubbing his lips against her damp cheek. “You were so fucking brave last night, princess. I was so, so proud of you. I don’t think anyone has ever defended me as fiercely as you did.”
“I’llalwaysfight for you.” Atria sniffed hard. She pressed their foreheads together and in a firm, raspy whisper declared, “You’remine,Kaz.”
Even if you need a hundred years to be comfortable with it. Even if you didn’t want this anymore. Even if I die tomorrow. You’ll always be mine.
Because she was selfish to her bones and she wouldn’t give him up even when she was cold in the ground. Kazimier Le Roy belonged toher.
“I’m yours,” he replied, whisper-soft. “But you need your rest, princess. I know you do. You’re exhausted. I promise I’m only taking Sloane because I don’t trust him not to cause trouble while I’m gone. Nothing will happen.”
She tightened her arms around his neck. “Kaz—”
“I have an idea that might make you feel better, but you need to let me go first.”
After a moment of serious internal debate, Atria reluctantly unwound her arms. Pressing a swift kiss to her lips, Kaz levered himself up and out of the nest. His warmth gone, she sat up and waited, her eyes on the partially opened curtain at the end of the bed.
The sounds of rummaging reached her. A moment later he reappeared. Leaning over the end of the bed, Kaz reached out to turn her right hand over. He placed a tiny black device in her palm. It was about the size and shape of a postage stamp and had a single darkened screen in the center.
“What’s this?”
Kaz flashed her a fanged grin and gestured to his bare chest. In the cool light of dawn filtering in from the parted curtain, she could just make out a tiny unnaturally black speck over his tattooed pectoral.
“Tracker,” he answered. One dark finger tapped the device sitting in her palm. It came alive soundlessly to display a string of green numbers. “That’s the coordinates to the house, so you know it works. It also records biometric data. It’ll alert you if my heart rate increases or if my vitals go haywire.”
Atria blinked. When the import of what he was giving her settled in, her fingers closed reflexively around the receiver. “You’re letting metrackyou?”
Kaz didn’t hesitate for even a second. “Yes. I trust you.”
She looked down at the receiver. All at once, a great emotional shudder overcame her — an earthquake of revelation with power enough to change the form of her foundation.
It was not a result of the knowledge that her secretive spymaster trusted her with so much, but rather that he’d simply… given her what she asked for. No questions. No argument. No thinly-veiled annoyance at having to accommodate her needs.
She asked and he gave.
That tight feeling of insecurity that had squeezed the breath out of her the previous night eased with the steady release of a long-held exhale.
Tell me what you need.How many times had he told her that? How many times had he firmly reinforced the fact that she never had to beg, to wait for him to give her scraps? All she had to do was tell him what she needed and he’d give it to her, no hesitation.
Atria held the receiver tight against her chest.If I asked, would he bond with me?
After all, what was the worst he could say?No, I’m not ready yet?That wasn’t so bad. Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe it took him three years to even begin this journey with her. So what? She wasn’t going anywhere. The man who put a tracker over his heart to make her feel better certainly wasn’t about to turn tail and run, either.
He’d given her his complete trust, so perhaps it was time she did the same. If she asked, she had to believe he would give her an honest answer, if not necessarily the thing she wanted.
