Atria could feel Kaz’s surprise and confusion as it swept over him, washing away everything else. Aware that he was probably struggling to come up with some response to his grandmother’s generous offer, she said, “Thank you, Frances. We’ll think about it.”
Frances grunted and turned back to her plate. Kaz did the same.
Atria glanced around the table, catching Suhana and Tosun’s eyes. They shared looks of tentative hope before returning to their own meals.
Picking up her sandwich, Atria thought,Could have gone a lot worse!
ChapterForty
The hikeup to the cairn was long and windy. Kaz tucked his mate under his arm, blocking the worst of the scouring wind as they slowly wound their way over low hills and rocky outcrops. They’d only been walking for a few minutes before he shucked his leather jacket and tucked it around his mate’s shoulders, insulating her the best he could.
Atria didn’t complain once as their solemn procession walked on and on. She stuck to his side, her small hand curled around his, and listened as Tosun pointed out the various farm buildings, pastures, and corrals they passed.
Eventually, they were so far out that there was nothing but tall grass and the distant lowing of cows. Tosun fell silent, and Suhana, who had done her best to lighten the mood with Atria during their meal, stared into the distance with a look of quiet sadness.
Each step he took toward the cairn felt heavier.
Everything in him wanted to turn around and walk back, his mate in tow. Old, frequently used survival instincts bristled at the threat this moment represented — not one to his body, but to his mind, his heart.
Kaz did not shove his feelings down because he didn’t want them, but because he feared the pain they brought. It was easy to see the reasoning now that he’d let go of his worry that he would lose control of himself. Like a thin layer of ice over brackish water, his avoidance hid the danger churning just out of reach.
He was a survivalist, and for most of his life surviving meant steering clear of that icy water. Facing it meant confronting the pain his very existence caused, and the true extent of the guilt he felt over his mother’s death. Raina’s death.
One wrong step and he’d slip, fall, andsink.
But he knew now that he wouldn’t drown. His mate wouldn’t let him. Atria was there, steady and warm, a hand outstretched to pull him out if it became too much. Those same instincts that had protected him for so many years now told him that there was no danger in this, uncomfortable as it felt, because she would never let anything damage him beyond repair.
My hero,he thought, looking down at her as she carefully picked a path around scrubby bushes.
He had nothing to hide from her. Nothing that mattered. She knew the depths of his rage, his flaws, his ferocity and his vulnerability. She saw it all and asked for more.
She was there for him, loyal without hesitation, and yet… what had he done for her? He hadn’t delivered on any of his promises. All he’d done was put her in danger and secret her away.
His vast network of contacts was useless to him when there was so much speculation around the bounty, throwing every fact into question. His ability to protect her was negligible if he didn’t know who he was supposed to save her from. He couldn’t justify risking her life to take her to the conference when he had no information, no back-up, and no safe transportation.
At every turn, he’d failed her.
But she was still there, walking steadily by his side as the sky began to change from vivid blue to a dusty, pre-sunset lavender. He doubted it had even occurred to her to blame him for his failures.
He was right to pin her as a soft touch. She was too good to him by far, and he agonized over how he could fix this for her.
Itmatteredthat he was there for her in the same way she was there for him in this moment, when he faced the thing he’d been running from for twenty years.
As they crested another small rise, Kaz drew her under the shelter of his arm and stooped to press a hard kiss to the crown of her precious head.
“Thank you for doing this with me,” he whispered.
Atria looped her arm around the small of his back. “You never need to do anything alone again, Kaz. We’re a team.”
He’d always been a loner, but here,now,with his mate under his arm, Kaz understood that it was only because he’d been waiting for her. No one else could fill the gap at his side. No one else understood him like she did. With her, he was not simply whole.
He wasmore.
Feeling simultaneously the best and worst he’d ever been, Kaz looked up to find his grandparents and young aunt standing at the top of the hill. He tensed, but forced himself to keep walking.
The soles of his boots crunched in the dry prairie grass as they slowly made their way up to join his family at the top of the hill. Kaz held his breath.
“Oh,” Atria breathed. “It’s beautiful.”
