Maybe I will avoid him for the rest of my life.
Yes, that sounded good. If she never had to look at him again, she would not feel this awful longing and its accompanying rejection. It was irrational, but it was the only solution she could think of in the moment.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. Desperation made his expression contort as rain began to slide down his forehead, his cheeks, his chin. “I’m sorry, Hele. This isn’t how I wanted to have this conversation. Please just listen—”
But she did notwantto listen, just as he did notwanther.
Hele, who was once vast and powerful and incomprehensibly old, was reduced to something small, and lonely, and pitied by the man she wanted above all others.
It was fuckinggalling.
Lightning snapped overhead. Vael’s head jerked up as his arms moved to circle her, perhaps to shield her from the strike, but he only stumbled, his wings and arms folding over nothing but hot air.
ChapterSix
Vael stumbledinto his dwelling blindly. “Fuckingfuck!”
Hele’s storm raged outside. Every savage blast of wind, every icy raindrop, and every clap of thunder felt like a recrimination. He was soaked to the bone beneath his armor. He was also absolutely heartsick.
Gods, what have I done?
Lights came on automatically as he dragged his booted feet across the threshold of the glass door and into the anteroom. His home, built of sturdy, sigil-reinforced stone and metal, shook with the force of the storm.
Vael stumbled through the large, empty room and into the living area, where a sunken couch and comfortable cushions held pride of place — ready for guests he never had and a mate he’d just savaged.
He looked for her, of course. Even when the storm threatened to shred his wings, he’d scoured the sky for her, desperate to find his Hele and explain—
Explain what? Explain that I’m still fucking rejecting her?
He knew he was doing the right thing. She was still too young, no matter what she said, to commit to something like matehood. She needed more time. More life. More room to stretch her wings. He couldn’t cage her without sewing regret, and if there was one thing he could never accept, it was that Hele might someday wish she hadn’t Chosen him. She needed time.
Heknewthat.
Because once she was his, he wasn’t letting her go. He was going to sink his claws into her soul and hold on until the day Grim dragged him to the Underworld. Vael would demand everything of her — every bit of her heart, every bit of her joy, every bit of her body — and he would give himself over completely in exchange.
There was no fucking way she was ready for that level of commitment yet. As far as he knew, she hadn’t shown so much as a flicker of romantic or sexual interest in anyone. What did she know of Choosing? Of relationships? Perhaps his wickedly intelligent mate read about both subjects, but she didn’tknowwhat they meant. Not really.
She couldn’t know that when she Chose him, it took every bit of willpower he possessed to keep from crushing his mouth to hers, bearing her down onto the rocks, spreading her legs, and claiming her right there on the beach for all to see. As far as he was aware, she did not feel lust or touch-hunger like he did.
She couldn’t know that he wanted to hear every thought that zipped through her mind, or that he worried about her constantly. Did she even understand what it meant to be so consumed by someone that your day began and ended with them? Did she consider that if one day she decided matehood was not what she wanted, he would shatter?
Hele could not know that when he thought of stifling her, locking her into a relationship she didn’t want, he felt sick to his stomach.
He could not,would notclip her wings.
Unfortunately, he also knew that explaining his position would not do a damn thing to help or soothe her. In her place, it certainly wouldn’t have made a difference to him.
But he had to fix things. There had to be a way to make her understand. He never meant to rejecther,just the timing. It was too soon. But he’d been so shocked by her announcement — shocked and honored and disbelieving and overjoyed — that the only word he could get out wasno.
It took him too long to register what she said because he’d been struggling with the temptation to kiss her. They were so close. He could feel the cool, silken skin beneath his palm and the tiny, thrilling bite of her lightning. His rigid control over his impulses had worn down into dust as he watched her lips part.
Just one kiss,he’d thought, desperate.Just one. Just something to hold onto for a while longer.
And then he swayed forward, his heart pounding, only to be stopped short by her innocent declaration.
She Chose me.
“Stupid—fucking!Gah!” He tore at his armor until the latches on his shoulders and side gave way. Tossing his vest carelessly onto the floor, he quickly sent his arm and leg plates to join it. Standing in his soaked black fatigues, he ran a shaking hand through his hair and tried tothink.
