The sound of Viktor’s breathing had been one of the most disorienting losses after that disastrous night. At some point, Camille had forgotten how to sleep without it. Learning how to rest without the comfort of his presence was a brutal addition to the torture that was pull withdrawal.
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Viktor’s voice was gravelly with sleep. It startled her out of her painful reverie.
Self-consciousness reared its ugly head when she cleared her throat to reply, “How did you know I was awake?”
“Your breathing changed. The coyote always notices that sort of thing.”
A deep pang of longing struck her. Without thinking, she replied, “It’s been a long time since I…”
“Yeah,” he gruffly replied, effortlessly deciphering what she could not say. “Yeah, it has been awhile.”
Camille grasped the rumpled edge of her sheet and pulled it up under her chin. In her mind, she saw Viktor as his other form: a sleek gray coyote, about double the size of the non-shifter sort, with long, black legs and luminous gold eyes. He was lean and cunning-looking. Even when he was lupine, she saw the familiar lines of his human face, the intelligent gleam in his eyes, the good humor that glowed with warmth.
For the first time, Camille acknowledged that she did not simply miss Viktor the man, but the wildness of his coyote, too. They were one and yet not. Fate said they werebothhers, though a large part of her still resisted its call.
The silence that had settled over them was broken by the rustle of cloth. When Viktor spoke next, his voice was closer to the mic and had lost the rough edge. “I’ve got to get ready for work, Cam. Will you be all right today?”
Her heart squeezed. She wanted to curse him for the note of real regret in his tone, but held her tongue. They’d crossed about a dozen lines last night. Her usual acerbic responses, programmed to keep people at a safe distance, no longer felt right.
Instead of telling him where he could shove his concern, she took a deep breath and slowly answered, “Yes. I… think I’ll go to the nursery today.”
Viktor paused. Was he as surprised by her genuine, if hesitant, response as she was? “That sounds like a good plan, sweetheart.” It was a warm, smooth croon full of approval and it made everything in hermelt.
Desperate to chase that feeling and knowing she couldn’t keep him on the line much longer, she hastily asked, “What work are you doing?”
“Ah, you know, alpha stuff.” The sound of movement came across the line. She imagined he had shifted the phone to his other ear as he levered himself out of bed.
Camille turned onto her back and stared up at the chandelier. “What kind ofalpha stuff?A lot of growling and chest beating?”
She could hear the smile in his voice when he answered, “Cute, but I think between the two of us,youdo more growling than I do.” She thought she heard the faint sound of a drawer sliding open. “Mostly it’s high level life management stuff. The pack invests in a lot of m-tech and entertainment ventures. I oversee all of that while Benny focuses on security.”
She had to work hard to dredge up exactly whoBennywas. Camille sought out information on the state of the Merced pack when she was feeling particularly weak over the years, so she could only vaguely recall hearing that a man named Benjamin Reeve had been promoted to his second after a more senior pack member stepped aside.
“This morning I have a meeting with a new start-up working in audiopathy, and then after that I have to swing by a few elders’ homes to check in on everyone. In between, thework-workstuff and the pack stuff, I also have to deal with disciplining teens and talking to the seniors about their duties — security of the territory, community events, stuff like that.”
Camille blinked, surprised by how busy his life was. She knew that the Merced pack was wealthy — due in large part to Viktor’s keen business acumen — but she didn’t quite expect to hear that so much of his day was taken up by interpersonal business.
She used to think that elves and shifters weren’t terribly different in their need for hierarchy, but it sounded like there were several key facts she had missed. Elves never got quite soinvolvedin each other's lives as shifters did.
“You sound busy,” she said, feeling suddenly awkward. He had so many people depending on him, so much to do, that she felt her lack of purpose keenly. “I shouldn’t be taking up your morning—”
“Sweetheart.” Viktor’s voice took on a firm edge. “I willalwayshave time for you. I’m not gonna fuck up again by not telling you exactly how important you are to me. A happy alpha makes a happy pack, and I’m happiest when I’m with you, okay?”
Camille’s heart skipped a beat.Goddess.“...Okay.”
“Good. Now I’ve gotta go shower. As much as I’d love to take you with me, I don’t think it would be very satisfying for either of us,” he teased. “Are we still on for tonight?”
His tone was light, like it was any other casual date, but even after all the years between them, she knew him well enough to pick up the subtle tension there.
He was giving her an out.
If she felt like she wasn’t ready to meet him, she knew he wouldn’t press. Uncertainty made her curl her toes into the blankets, as if she needed to brace herself for the fallout of her decision. Still, she answered, “Yes.”
A quiet sigh came across the line. “Good. Good. Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Have fun at the nursery today. If— I mean, you don’t have to, but if you could maybe let me know when you get home, I’d— Fuck me. It would just make me feel better, is what I’m trying to say.”
Camille’s brow furrowed. “Are you worried I won’t make it home?”
The idea of beingunsafein Theodore’s city was so beyond her comprehension it sounded like he’d spoken another language. She was a Solbourne inSolbourne territory.There hadn’t been a credible threat to her safety since the day Thaddeus II lost his fool head.
