It feels like each one of my limbs weighs one-hundred pounds, and maybe it was the much needed water, but some clarity goes through me.
Smokey.
Shit. Oh my god, what if they didn’t think about him while I was in heat? What if he hasn’t eaten this whole time?
My feet pad quickly down the hallway, and I open the office door. Luckily, I don’t find a starving Smokey. Nope, I find a shirtless Nate, leaned back in his desk chair, his eyes heavy with a purring cat on his chest.
“Hailey,” he says my name in surprise, blinking a few times, and I lean against the doorframe.
More so because I’m exhausted, and maybe because I don’t know what to say. I know I felt hopeless after the altercation at the club, and maybe there are still heavily lingering feelings of not being good enough for this pack.
But they were there for me. They built me my nest; they took care of me when I needed them most. I obviously can’t holdthem to promises they made to me during my heat, but I know I want them.
I remember how many times I begged Sterling and Nate to bond with me, and the multiple times they got tased for my begging. I grimace at the imagery and pick at my nails.
Nate thankfully breaks the silence. “He likes me. I think it’s from smelling so much like you during your heat. But I think I like being a cat dad.”
The smile that tugs against my lips doesn’t stand a chance as I watch him pet my cat.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
“Like I got hit by a truck,” I say, my voice raspy.
“Do you want to shower and get some rest?” he asks, and I nod.
He picks Smokey up, kissing his head. The action turns me on, which is insane, because there’s no way I’d want to actually have sex right now.
Nate puts Smokey on one of his cat beds before coming to me. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls me into his arms. I rest my cheek against his shoulder and sigh.
He smells like mine—he feels like mine, yet I can’t seem to conceptualize the thought that he would truly want me back. I’m still groggy and trying to arrange my thoughts as he carries me through the house.
He doesn’t take me to the nest, but to his bedroom. It’s steeped in his comforting scent, albeit a little messy. It’s comforting. His bathroom and bedroom are much smaller than my nest. He turns on the shower, waiting for it to heat up.
There aren’t any words between us as he grabs the bottom of Sterling’s shirt, undressing me and then himself before we get in the shower.
It’s so odd that I feel shy? I mean, the man bent me like a pretzel over the past few days. No inch of my body was unseen.
My cheeks heat and Nate gives me a small smile, doing his very best to not glance below my neck.
“I like the stubble,” I say, pointing a fingertip along his jaw.
He laughs. “You made that known in heat, too. I can’t keep the full beard, but I could try a stache for you if you wanted,” he says easily.
I bite my lower lip and squint at him. Yeah, he’d totally rock a hot little firemen stache.
“I’d like that. Thank you for being there for me. I’m sorry that it happened when it did,” I say, ready to grab some soap, and Nate lightly taps my hand away.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I loved taking care of you. I’m just sorry that it was our first time together. I wanted it to be special.”
I’m not gonna cry. I’m not going to fucking cry.
Tears start involuntarily falling down my cheeks and I’m going to totally blame it on post-heat delirium. Nate wraps me up in his arms, my cheek pressed against his large chest.
“We don’t have to talk about anything serious right now. Let’s just get you cleaned up and rested. It’s been a long five days,” Nate says.
“Five?” I repeat in shock.
“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, running his fingers through my hair, and snagging on some knots, so he stops, lathering the strands with conditioner instead. “Are you hungry?”
