I didn’t realize I was nearly stomping the entire walk until I get to the parking garage. I sit in my worn, seen-better-days Jetta and think about how alone I’ve always felt. The emotion is heavy on my chest, and I’m not sure how to ease this ache.
I’m an Omega, but I’ve never truly known genuine affection. Sure, I’ve had boyfriends, and I sold my first heat at the club, but no one really knows me or even seems to want to.
Why am I so broken?
Even my family wanted nothing to do with me. As soon as I designated my mother told me I had to get the hell out. I grew up with an Omega mother and her enormous pack, but none of them felt parental to me. I just simply existed and they tolerated it.
She was still attempting to add more Alphas to her pack when she kicked me out. It’s because the guy she was seeing had a reaction to my scent. He cared more about my safety with my new designation than my own mother did. But she didn’t see it that way. She saw me, her own daughter, as competition.
I’m not even mad about needing to find my own place, that was already in the works. It’s how discarded and hurt I felt in theaftermath. She hasn’t called me once, and neither has anyone in her pack. I don’t even know if Nate stuck around after she had them all box my shit up and leave it in the hot Nevada sun for me to come home to.
All I know is I’m alone and it feels like nothing I do will fill this void.
The only time I feel good lately is if I’m fucking someone, isn’t that something? It’s like my body wants to make up for lost time and get knotted as often as possible. Part of me wants to drive to Lavender Moon; I’m not even working tonight, but at least then I wouldn’t be alone.
I rest my head against the headrest and try to calm down before I drive home. A few deep breaths in and out help me regain focus as something jumps onto the hood of my car and I scream.
Just as quickly as the noise rips through my throat, I realize it’s a small all-black kitten staring at me through the windshield. I look to my left and right and don’t see anyone in sight, so I get out of the vehicle.
I’ve never had a pet before and cats seem ornery as fuck, but when I hold out my hand, the cat just rubs his forehead against it.
“Did the universe send you?” I say, feeling like a lunatic, but the cat mewls. I look around one last time, before scooping him up and putting him in my car. It takes me less than a second to decide I love them, would die for the small void, and that he’s now my son. “Well, it looks like it’s just you and me now.”
He turns on his back, showing me his belly which is gray and I realize, he isn’t completely black.
He makes himself at home, lounging in the passenger seat. Luckily we’re in Vegas and nearly everything is open all day as I drive to the pet store and get—I glance down at the cat—him, definitely a him, everything he needs.
After a few days, I name the cat Smokey. He makes my small apartment his castle, and it’s so silly, but for the first time in a long time I feel something.
How can a little furry baby make me feel this way? I don’t know. But when he lies on my chest and purrs as I stroke his fur I feel soothed. He gives me a reason to wake up every morning. Having someone depend on me has given me purpose, and I’m glad. Things were not looking so hot there for a minute.
“I have to go to work,” I tell him.
He just squints at me as I put him in his cat bed with a warmer and grab my bag for my shift tonight at Lavender Moon.
Maybe I’ll think about letting someone take me to the VIP area tonight. It’s been too long and there’s no doubt that my next heat is coming sooner than later. God, I hope it’s not as painful as last time.
For a long time I wanted to be an Omega, I wanted to be just like my mom. But then I got used to living in the background, not being noticed and I got comfortable there. So far, I haven’t seen any of the perks of being an Omega.
Okay, that’s a lie. The knotting is pretty awesome. But there hasn’t been a single Alpha that’s made me feel like anything beyond my job or my designation.
I’m starting to wonder if something is fundamentally wrong with me.
I kiss Smokey’s head before I drive over to Lavender Moon for the night.
The locker rooms are busier than normal. Quite a few Omegas have relocated from the Florida location and luckily it hasn’t seemed to affect my tips.
“The Starred Rose is trying to poach me,” Riley says, one of the Omegas who switched locations. He’s beautiful, confident, and damn did I wish I fit in as easily as he does.
“Why didn’t you go?” Jenny asks.
“Have you not heard about all the Omegas who keep going missing. No thank you. Mr. Martinez would never let shit like that happen.”
I nod in agreement. The owner, Ian Martinez, is no bullshit, and so understanding.Thatis the kind of Alpha I wish I could find, but they all seem to avoid me like the plague.
“What’s tonight's theme?” Jenny asks as we pull out our costumes.
“Cowboys and Aliens, my favorite.” Riley grins, putting on the smallest pair of shiny green shorts and a cowboy hat. “You good, Cherry?” he asks.
