She bites her bottom lip. “Do you want me to?”
I could lie, tell her that it’s up to her and it doesn’t matter, or I could let myself have what I want.
“Yeah, I like you here.”
She leans in, pressing the side of her face against my chest, running her hands down the expanse of my back.
“Have you thought any more about The Bahamas?” I ask her.
I’m not sure why I can’t let it go, but the idea of going out of the country without her seems wrong. It used to just be my brothers and Penny who went, and it was simple, but then Aiden met Jessa and Lincoln and Penny realized they were meant for each other. I always had Ben, but the idea of her not going with us seems like a lie.
Honestly, this is all starting to seem like we’re lying to ourselves.
“Not yet,” she says, not lifting her head off my chest, and I worry that she doesn’t feel the same way.
Maybe this is unrequited, and I’d be an idiot telling her how I feel.
It’sSunday and we’ve already had dinner. My brothers, Penny, and Jessa are sitting out by the firepit and it sinks in my chest how Kate should be here too.
“So, did you convince her to come?” Penny asks me and Ben.
Lincoln and Aiden are talking about boring business shit, and Jessa seems like maybe she had one too many of my mom’s margarita’s and is falling asleep on Aiden’s shoulder.
“Working on it,” Ben says.
“Well, why is she hesitant? You guys are dating.”
“We aren’t dating,” I say and Penny squints at me.
She holds up one finger. “You all are exclusive with one another.” Another finger. “You two are obsessed with her.” A third finger. “You guys go on dates.” A fourth. “She’s clearly falling for you guys, too.” Once all five of her fingers are up, she stares at her hand. “I can’t think of a fifth thing, but this whole not telling her your feelings shit is ridiculous.”
“You’re one to talk,” Ben says, taking a sip of his beer.
“We’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you two and how kismet this all is. You both never wanted to date someone because you didn’t want her coming in between your relationship with one another,” Penny rambles and I won’t admit that she’s right, that was a big part of the hesitancy, plus a lot of women wanted marriage and kids and those things aren’t on the table for me. “Then you find Kate, who likes you both equally, doesn’t pick favorites, and it somehow works. You can’t be boneheaded enough to let this go. Just tell her how you feel.”
“She’s been through a lot,” I say, and Penny rolls her eyes.
“So has everyone.”
“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Ben asks, and Penny rubs her temples.
“She feels the same way.”
“And how would you know?” I ask, and Ben leans in, both of us acting like Penny is some sort of fortune teller, leading us in the right direction.
“A woman can tell these sorts of things.”
“Maybe having her meet mom is too much,” Ben suggests, shrugging.
“Or maybe you all just need to jump right into the deep end and stop pretending she’s just a friend,” Penny says as the baby monitor app on her phone goes off and she excuses herself.
I look at Ben, and he stares back at me.
“I want to show her off. I want our family to see that we’re happy,” he says, and I nod my head.
I groan and rub my face, not knowing how to handle the situation. “If she’s not ready to go with us, she’s not ready.”
Ben arches an eyebrow at me, but he nods, even though I have a feeling he’s going to take matters into his own hands.
