Gavin squeezes my shoulder, kneading the muscle as Kate walks over to our table. She’s wearing a pretty dark blue dress that’s tight around her chest, and fans out around her knees. Her dark hair is down in slight waves and she looks pretty as ever.
Gavin and I both stand, and he slides her chair back. She slides the back of her dress down before taking a seat and giving us both a sheepish smile.
“I love this place,” she says, as she grabs the drink menu. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“We’re glad you wanted to meet, that we could be friends,” Gavin says, enunciating the word friends.
It’s because he means it. He can be friends with Kate and fuck her till she can’t think straight. Usually I’d be the same, but with Kate, I don’t know if it will be as easy for me to not blur the lines. Obviously, I’m open to trying.
It’s not like me to catch feelings like this, to care so much, I can keep it in check.
“What can I say? You’re both too charming for your own good.”
Our server takes our drink order and we decide that we have to get the cheese wheel pesto pasta and a few other items to share. It seems a little indicative of the future, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.
“Did you get your phone checked out?” Gavin asks.
“I did. Thank you for the suggestion. They didn’t find anything odd on it,” Kate says, taking a sip of her wine.
“I meant what I said. We’re friends now. If you ever feel unsafe, either of us will be there.”
Kate gives my brother a soft smile and nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She taps her finger against her wine glass a few times like she’s working up the courage and then suddenly it all spills out of her. “We’re all on the same page that this would be a friends with benefits situation, right? We aren’t just cocktails and dinner friends?”
“Can’t we be both?” I ask, and her cheeks heat at the slight innuendo.
“Of course it can be both. I’m just making sure that if we do this that we’re all on the same page. That we should have ground rules and be honest with one another.”
“Ground rules,” my brother repeats and she nods.
“And definitely nothing but honesty,” I say, feeling like I’m the one who inadvertently got us all in this tangled mess. It’s important that she knows we would never betray her trust from here on out.
“Yeah, like, do we only go to Avalon? Can I text you when I’m horny at ten at night for one or…both of you to come over? Are we sleeping with other people? I think laying it all out in the open is the only way to do this sort of thing, no?”
Gavin rests his chin on his palm, looking at Kate like she’s precious. It’s odd. I’ve seen Gavin flirt with women plenty of times, or even joke with them, but he’s putting in more of an effort to make this situation work and I’m wondering why.
“You like rules, Kate?”
“Yes, and I know both of you do, too. I think setting our expectations and being honest is the only way something like this can work.”
“Okay, what would your ideal rules be?” Gavin asks.
“I think we shouldn’t restrict ourselves to Avalon, honestly I would be fine not paying the membership any longer. I don’t really have an interest in sleeping with anyone else right now, but I wouldn’t put it off the table and I wouldn’t expect you two to not sleep with other women if you wanted to. I do think if we are sleeping with anyone else that we need to be clear about that with using protection. I’d be comfortable coming to your house or you coming to mine. And I think we make the most of it. There are things I want to try, and I’m sure there are things the both of you are looking for. As long as the situation continues to be agreeable for everyone and we communicate, then I feel like an arrangement like this can work.”
Gavin and I are both speechless for a moment. Kate isn’t what we’re used to.
“We can agree to those terms. We’re so busy with the bar I don’t see us having the time or energy to be sleeping with anyone else right now. Avalon has its moments, but I don’t think we need them to facilitate anymore either. For your last point, you know I’ve never actually seen this physical list,” Gavin says.
Just casually bringing up the part where we pretended to be one another. Kate goes to grab her purse as the server rolls up with the cheese wheel and begins making our pasta. The whole time he’s talking about the age of the cheese, how many wheels they go through a week and how they clean it, I’m thinking about the list in her purse.
Did she ever grade me for our night together? Has she added more things? Are there things I’m willing to try that I might not have been before? With Kate, I find myself considering more possibilities. Things that were on her list that I haven’t fully jumped into are now on the table. Maybe it’s because I know Kate would make it good for me, or because I trust her, unlike the other women I’ve been with. Is this what it’s like to consistently want to have sex with the same person? Have Ibeen missing out on this my whole adult life? Or is it something specific about this woman?
“Are you alright, Ben?” she asks softly from across the table as our shared plates are between us.
“Yeah, more than alright,” I tell her and she smiles as we eat.
The list and discussion over ground rules is forgotten as we give her updates about the club portion of our business, and she talks about the upcoming semester. It’s easy, casual, just like we would talk to any friend.
The meal is delicious, and Kate's head is tilted back, her delicate throat exposed, laughing at something Gavin said. I like that she doesn’t hide her scars and part of me wants to ask how she got them, but now doesn’t seem like the right time or place.
