“Take a deep breath. In and out,” he says, before being cut off.
Suddenly, my mom’s melodic voice is on the phone. “Jonah, sweetie, what’s wrong?”
It breaks me as I lean against the wall and slowly glide down it, falling on my aching ass. I have to breathe in and out hard, a few tears escaping as I quickly wipe them away.
“I hurt her. I didn’t mean to. We fell in the shower and they had to sedate her for her heat. I fucking broke her ankle, Mom,” I tell her over the phone.
Maybe I’m a mama’s boy, maybe I’m just a goddamn mess, but right now I just can’t hold it together.
“Jonah, you listen to me. You are the kindest, most loving man and you would never hurt anyone on purpose. Do you need us to come to Philadelphia? What do you need?” she asks and I shake my head, knowing she can’t see me.
“I just needed someone to talk to. Mack seems to be handling it okay, but Cole…I think Cole hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you. You’re all probably tired, stressed, and it’s a lot to take in. They’re your pack, you’ll get through this. I’m sure this Omega is reasonable and will see it for the accident it is.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really know her. It just…it just felt right. I thought…I don’t know what I thought.”
“We fall hard and fast. You’re a sweet boy. She’ll see that, your pack knows that. It was an accident. You’ll get through this.”
“What do I do if she wakes up and wants nothing to do with us? Her pack in California wants her back. I’m sure none of them ever hurt her, not like this.”
“I don’t think an Omega would fly across the country and agree to have strangers service her heat if she was leaving a good situation. Just be there for her, be there for your pack. Don’t let this eat you up, Jonah. If you retreat, you’ll never get the chance to see what could happen.”
“Mom, what do I do?” I sigh out rubbing my temples.
“You take care of her, you hold her hand while she’s sedated, you talk to her. You offer to take care of her after her heat. Cover the bill at Heat Haven, her medical costs. But most importantly, give her you. Anyone who gets to know you will love you. Just be the kind, loving man I know you are and everything will work out, I promise.”
“Okay,” I rasp out.
“Call us tomorrow to check in, please. I love you. I know this is what you want, and it’s what you deserve. Go take care of her, honey, and it will all work itself out.”
“I love you too, mom,” I say and hang up.
I place my forehead on my knees and allow myself a moment to completely break down before I go up to the suite and be the Alpha I need to be.
It’s been nearly two days.
Two days of barely sleeping, of holding Shiloh’s hand, nurses coming in and out of the suite, and Cole not talking to me.
Dr. Goss put a cast on Shiloh’s ankle and I’ve barely eaten anything. She should be awake by now. The not knowing how she’s feeling is killing me along with the lingering guilt.
When she coughs and groans, she smacks her lips and makes a noise of discomfort before blinking her eyes open.
She swallows dryly, and Cole quickly hands her a glass of water with a straw.
“Thanks,” she croaks, making another pained noise. “What happened?”
I grab her hand, even though I feel like I have no right to.
“I’m so sorry, Shiloh. We were in the shower and I fell. You broke your ankle during the fall and needed to be sedated. They have a cast on your foot, but you won’t need surgery.”
She scrubs her hand with her face.
“I feel like ass,” she says and I just blink at her. “Fuck. Can I get some pain medicine?”
“I’ll go get the doctor,” Mack says.
“I’m so sorry.”
