I shouldn’t be gratuitously staring at him, but he did just get hot and took his shirt off. He’s supposedly my husband, after all. I should at least be able to take a cursory glance here and there.
His large muscles flex each time he brings the axe down. He wipes his brow with a rag as he moves them over to the lake. There’s a small base of something that used to be there. It looks like he’s adding on to it.
Why? I have no clue. All I know is that every day, he comes here, works on his project and pouts. Then his wolf takes over at night.
The longer I look at his face, the more I realize he’s exhausted. Dark circles are heavy under his eyes and his beard is unkempt.
Why can’t I feel this connection we supposedly had?
Why can’t I feel anything?
My mother comes over for dinner. She does this every evening, like she’s trying to win my affection through my stomach. She also brings Marie, which makes Walter happy. At least someone in this house is enjoying themselves. Even if the female cat seems to make her disinterest known.
Today Lavender brought red beans and rice, which does help sway things in her favor. She takes a plate out to Silas and they talk for a few moments, and she pats him on the arm before heading back into the house.
I have a fork full of food headed toward my mouth when she speaks.
“Aster is at a facility for aging humans, and that’s where she will stay. She will live the rest of her life believing she’s a human, one of the very things she always hated. She will not have visitors, she will wither away in her own version of hell,” she says, not even an ounce of sadness in her tone.
“She’s your mother,” I chastise, sitting up straight.
I can flash through Iris’ memories, but I just can’t believe her memories over my own. I’m still having a hard time understanding how my grand-mère could do something so malicious?
“She raised me. She was there for me when you weren’t. You’re the one who left. All she ever did was look out for the coven,” I say, and my mother gives me a sad smile.
“The full moon is in two days. All will be well,” she says, but there’s still a furrow in her brow.
“Which assisted living facility?” I ask.
“It’s in Ohio,” my mother says with a smirk.
Grand-meredidhate any place above the Mason Dixon Line, especially a place like Ohio. It’s everything she would loathe.
“I think I’ve lost my appetite,” I say, excusing myself and going to my room and staring out the window.
Walter joins me and sighs as I pet his fur. Marie curls up next to him, and I swear my crotchety old cat smiles as she gives him some affection. But it doesn’t make me smile, it doesn’t make me feel anything. I feel wholly broken.
“I miss you, Violet,”he says, rubbing the top of his head against my jaw, before resting with his new kitty girlfriend.
How much of myself have I lost, and will I ever get it back?
Chapter 44
Sweat is dripping down my back as Oberyn approaches me; I still haven’t gotten a good read on him, he’s not a man of many words.
“Need a hand?” he says.
“Sure,” I reply as he helps me put in another post in the gazebo.
I don’t know why I’m building this fucking thing, but it’s better than just sitting on her porch acting like a pathetic watch dog. So, to keep myself busy, I’m rebuilding this god damn gazebo that has caused me even more suffering.
“Lav and I got married in this thing. I didn’t know Aster destroyed it, or that she even knew we officially got married,” he says.
“We’re sure Aster isn’t coming back?” I ask.
The man huffs, helping me make sure the post is level.
“Lavender is sure she won’t. You know, a part of me always thought Aster was more afraid of Lavender ascending too early than she was about us being together.”
