“I know it’s been a long day. I know you’re tired. You’re so fucking strong, Sloane. One of the strongest people I know. Sweetheart, I know this wasn’t your plan. I know you wanted to give birth this way, but they have to take you back,” I tell her.
“He’s right,” Bram says. My words must have slapped him out of his own fear. He kisses the side of her head. “You can do this,liefje. We’ll be with you the whole time.”
“This is all your fault,” she says, and both Bram and Max’s eyes go wide. “If you weren’t so fucking big, the baby wouldn’t be so big,” she says, sniffling.
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re right,” Max says, just agreeing with her worn-out anger.
“Okay,” she says on a sniffle. “Okay.”
The doctor looks relieved as they get the medical personnel needed, and they take us to get sanitized and ready. My heart is beating a million beats per minute as we’re about to be taken into the surgical room.
A nurse who is as short as Sloane but with more curves wearing a pink scrub set stops us with a hand.
“Whatever scary emotions you’re feeling right now, you need to cool them down. She needs the most serene happy feelings while she’s in there. She’s still panicking, and we need her to be as calm as possible.”
“We can do that,” Bram agrees in his light blue scrub dress and booties.
She gives us a nod as she opens the door, and we all crowd by Sloane’s head. Dried tears streak her face as I rub her hair.
Max kisses her cheek, and Bram’s hand is nearly on top of mine.
“I know this wasn’t in Sloane’s pregnancy manual. But you’re doing amazing.”
She seems like she’s shivering slightly, but she nods her head.
“How much longer?” she asks.
“Not much longer,” the doctor confirms.
Part of me wants to look over the paper curtain, but I don’t need that trauma. Instead, I sit here with Sloane as each scary moment passes by.
“You’re doing so great, baby,” Max tells her.
Sloane is blinking rapidly, and I think she’s trying to stay calm. Fuck, she’s being so strong. I didn’t think it was possible to love her more than I already do, but as she holds her composure to bring our son into this world, all I feel is full.
There’s a sharp cry as the doctor holds up our son, and Sloane lets out a loud breath before crying again.
“Oh, he’s a big healthy boy,” the nurse says as they clear his airway and clamps the umbilical cord.
We all are touching Sloane in some way as she brings our wrapped son next to Sloane’s face.
“Hi,” she says softly to him.
He calms quickly to her voice as he pinches his small little face and looks around.
“He’s beautiful,” I tell her.
“Perfect,” Max says.
And out of all of us, Bram is the one who can’t compose himself as he lets a few tears slip and he touches our soft newborn’s cheek.
“I’m so proud of you,” he tells Sloane with a kiss to her head.
“He’s really here,” she says in amazement.
The doctors are working away, but it feels like we’re having our small intimate moment here.
“He’s really here,” I confirm, and she presses her face closer to the baby.
