“I can’t right now,” she sniffles.
Ethan sighs and rubs his hair as he and Bram get dressed. I can hear them arguing in the bathroom. I’m sure he’s getting a lashing for having kept her secret for so long. Part of me feels sorry for Ethan. But I’m also frustrated. Why would she keep this a secret?
Also, what the fuck am I going to do? My stepdad was a good guy, quiet but not as involved. I don’t know the first thing about really being a dad; kids weren’t even on my radar.
Sloane’s body shakes against mine, and I all but force her to lie down on my chest so I can stroke her back. For the first time in my life, a purr rumbles through my chest as I comfort her. She sighs against me, and I can feel how much it comforts her through the bond.
“Please don’t hate me.”
“Baby, I could never hate you. It’s just a lot to take in all at once. I’m not mad, just scared.”
She sniffles and shifts against my chest, letting the motion of my chest soothe her.
“Me too,” she whispers.
“We’ll figure everything out,” I tell her, even though I don’t even know what that means.
“What if something bad happens?” she asks, and I cup her face, forcing her to look at me.
“Nothing bad is going to happen,” I say because what else do I say?
“You don’t know that. I can't lose you, Max.”
“You’re not losing me.”
“I can feel everything down the bond. You’re terrified.” I take a deep breath and nod my head, not knowing what to say because she’s not wrong. “What if being so scared and worried has hurt the baby? What if me not telling you has hurt them? I’m already a bad mom.”
“Hey. No,” I tell her and stroke her cheekbones.
“I’m so scared all the time Max, and now you have to feel it too. I’m sorry,” she says, putting her head back on my chest, clearly not wanting to talk anymore.
“It’s going to be okay,” I tell her because I’m not sure what else I could say to comfort her. I’m just trying to curb my own panic.
We’re bonded and having a baby, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.
CHAPTER 41
Max and Bram are basically stalking the front counter, trying to get Sloane in quicker as I sit in the waiting area and hold her hand.
“What was the plan there, sweetheart? Hoping to get them in post-nut bliss and tell them about the baby?” I ask.
She smacks my chest but laughs a little, which is a relief.
“Maybe. I thought it would work.”
“I mean, it worked, but I don’t think how you wanted it to.”
She rubs her neck with Max’s bond mark and sighs. “I feel like I just ruined my and Max’s bonding experience all because I was scared to tell them the truth.”
“I’m just glad it’s all out in the open now. I got you something,” I tell her.
Sloane acts like she doesn’t love getting gifts as much as she does, but I know my girl. I don’t have to be bonded to her to know these things, but I’m hoping I’ll be bonded to her both by Max and Bram, so it will almost be like a complete bond.
Just because I’m not an Alpha doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get to experience that part of pack life.
“It’s nothing big,” I tell her to not get her hopes up. But when I give her the gold engraved keychain, she smiles brightly.
Future Baby Mamais engraved in script, and she starts really laughing.
