“We have to talk, to be in the same space as one another,” I say.
His beautiful eyes flick up to mine. He hasn’t shaved in a few days and for being so miserable, he still looks so handsome.
“If you told me yes right now, I’d go out into the living room and tell them all that we’re together and they can fucking deal with it. I’d shoulder it all. But I wasn’t worth it to you. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“It’s not?—”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m exhausted trying to make you see what I already know.”
“That’s not fair, Lincoln. It’s not that simple.”
“God, you’re gonna make me fucking drink this weekend. Just… just enjoy the vacation, Penny,” he says, leaving the bedroom and going to God knows where.
I sigh and sit on the bed. The mattress sucks. We used this room a lot as kids, and usually someone sleeps in this room when we visit, but right now, it feels like a prison cell.
I rub my hands over my eyes as my dad walks by and knocks on the doorframe.
“Hey kiddo, mind helping me stock the boat?” he asks.
“Sure thing, Dad.”
He throws an arm around my shoulder as we head out back and onto the patio to start gathering supplies for their fishing trip tomorrow.
“You sure you don’t want to go fishing tomorrow?” he asks.
I usually enjoy it. Growing up with three boy cousins, I did whatever the majority wanted.
“Yeah, I think a girls’ day is much needed while you all go fishing.”
Plus, being trapped in the middle of the ocean with Lincoln sounds like a good way for him to throw me overboard.
“I’ve missed you lately,” he says.
“I haven’t been anywhere,” I say, and he shakes his head.
“You haven’t been the same. I just want to make sure my little girl is alright.”
“I’m not little anymore, Dad.”
“You always will be to me. My little miracle,” he says. I nudge his side and he hugs me. “I know things have been heavy for you lately, but if there’s anything else that’s weighing on you, you know me and your mom are always there for you. We love you no matter what.”
“No matter what?”
“No matter what,” he says, with another squeeze of my arm.
I just wish I could believe that was true.
24
I DON’T HATE YOU
I shouldn’t have comeon this fucking trip.
Not only is Penny around every goddamn corner I turn, but she keeps giving me this sad look like I’m the one who broke her heart.
I was the one who wanted this; I was willing to risk it all, but she’s acting like I’m being unreasonable.
Ben and I are setting up the bonfire for the night. We do this every year.
