I laugh so hard my stomach hurts before lightly smacking his chest.
“He wasn’t that bad.”
“Didn’t he want to do shrooms in the woods with you to reach some sort of elevated spiritual enlightenment?”
“He did… and we did.”
“No way,” he says, resting his head against the pillow.
“It was actually a pretty good time. Until he started fucking Willow right in front of me,” I say with a grimace and Lincoln scoffs.
“You know how to pick ‘em, Pen.”
“Obviously.” I smack him with the pillow. He takes it and holds it next to his chest. “Maybe I should go on one of these stupid shows.”
He glares at me.
“What?”
“The only men who go on these shows are ones who want to be on TV. That’s not what you’re looking for.”
I plop down on the bed, lying on my side, looking at him.
“How would you know what I’m looking for?”
He pushes some hair out of my face and I have to contain the shiver that wants to wreck my body. After this weekend he can’t touch me like this, and that feeling stings.
I shake the thought from my head; I have to enjoy now, it’s all I’ll get.
“You want to be someone’s everything. These men with their repeated pattern button-up shirts and receding hairlines with over proportionate egos aren’t for you.”
“Then who is for me?” I ask.
He stares at me a long minute before he speaks. “The man who you can finally be yourself around,” he says softly, turning his face to watch the stupid show.
I continue staring at the side of his head, and he doesn’t call me out on it. When was the last time I felt this comfortable andsafe being myself? It’s not even just about the sexual stuff, it’s actually being me.
I’m not afraid of making a bad joke or saying the wrong thing. I’m not lying here wondering if he finds me attractive or if he finds me annoying.
For the first time in forever, I’m lying next to a man, not wondering if I’m good enough. It’s freeing and heady, but it has an expiration date.
My family is the most important thing to me. My parents have given me everything, along with my aunt Maggie and uncle Jeff. Blowing up the entire family structure because I have chemistry with Lincoln is just not possible.
I could lose everything because of what we’re doing.
“Penny?” he says my name but doesn’t look at me.
“What?”
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I snark back.
“You’re thinking so fucking loud you’re giving me a headache.”
“You’re a real asshole, you know?” I say, and he smiles. Quickly flipping me on my back and crawling on top of me.
“I know. I think you kind of like it.”
