I feel like the universe is bending me over and fucking me in the ass as she notices me and sends her kids into the restaurant. The children who are exact clones of their mother look at me curiously before heading inside.
“Lincoln,” she says softly.
“Vanessa.” Her name tastes like ash on my tongue.
How was I so fucking blind? So self-absorbed that I didn’t see the signs?
“I hope you’re doing well.”
She stands there confidently, like she didn’t ruin my whole fucking life with lies. Her wedding ring is sparkling on her finger and my heart goes out to the bastard who chose to stay with her after everything.
I nod my head and go to skirt around her when she touches my forearm.
Her nails are painted a bright pink as I look down at where she’s grabbing me. There’s still resentment and anger when I glance back up to meet her eyes. The look she gives me is one of pity.
I wrench my arm away and she sighs.
“It’s been four years, Linc. It was just a little fun.”
I swallow, not knowing what to say. That isn’t what she was to me. I mean, yes; we had a lot of fun. She was usually only available at certain times, and I didn’t even consider that it was for nefarious purposes. I thought I liked that we had more time apart than together, but I still cared. I still wanted more.
She was the first woman who ever made me feel that way, and she destroyed me.
“It wasn’t for me. You lied to me for two years, Vanessa.”
The younger child opens the door to the restaurant and looks at his mom. “Mom, are you coming?”
“I’ll be right there,” she tells him.
“I mean it. I hope you’re doing well,” she says, touching my arm one more time.
She walks away like I mean nothing, which I suppose I don’t. I was her boy toy vacation, a night away from her husband and kids once or twice a week. I wanted more; I wanted to be better for her, to settle down and maybe have a family of my own, but she couldn’t commit.
It made me curious, and that’s when I realized the last name she gave me wasn’t her real last name and that I was her little toy. It was embarrassing. That I was stupid enough, blind enough, not to notice this woman had a whole fucking family already.
So I kept it in, didn’t tell anyone while I tried to work on how I felt about it.
Four years later and I’m still bitter and holding a grudge, and it’s not who I want to be.
She hurt me enough as it is. I can’t keep living like this anymore.
I put the take out on the passenger’s seat and blast the AC as I close my eyes and rest my skull against the headrest.
How fucking cliche? Becoming a workaholic, grumpy bastard after a woman breaks your heart.
I think about last night and how much I enjoyed myself. It’s been a while since I went to Calamity, but I’ve never had that much fun. There wasn’t any pressure to be a certain way. My guards were down. I hate that it took so much alcohol to get me there, but fuck, I felt good.
I rub my temples with my fingers and groan. No more overthinking shit, just do what feels good.
I log into the Avalon app and request another meeting with Honey. It’s probably not a healthy response to seeing Vanessa, but right now, I don’t really give a fuck.
Aiden,of course, asked me what I was doing tonight, and I stupidly mentioned Avalon.
So now, here I am, in the main area of Avalon, when I have somewhere very fucking important to be in the next—I look down at my watch and sigh—forty-five minutes.
“Why are you sighing and shit? You’re the one who said you were already coming here.”
I shrug, and Aiden narrows his eyes at me.
