“There’s hope for Lincoln at least,” Maggie says with a smile. “Vanessa was nice. Whatever happened to her?” she asks.
I still in my seat and Lincoln pauses in his. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “Considering she was already married with kids unbeknownst to me, I’d say I could do better.”
My jaw drops, and everyone is silent for a few moments. It clicks for me then, why he was so detached for so long, why that breakup changed him.
Maggie clears her throat. “Well, on second thought, she’s a bitch and if I ever see her?—”
Ben laughs and interrupts her. “You’ll what, mom?”
“I don’t know. Have very colorful words for what a terrible person she is.”
Lincoln smiles and shakes his head. “I appreciate it, Mom, but looking back, it wasn’t as serious as I thought.”
“You deserve a good girl,” Maggie says and Gavin chokes on his food across the table.
“You really do, Lincoln,” Gavin says, and I truly want to grab the butter knife and poke his eye out.
“I’m sure it will happen for me eventually,” Lincoln says, discreetly sliding his hand under the table and squeezing my thigh.
I couldn’t stop the heat traveling up my neck if I tried.
“Penny, are you okay?” My mother asks and I nod.
“Yeah, I think I had a bit too much sun today.”
“That Caribbean sun will get you, alright,” Gavin says.
Maggie furrows her brow and looks at Gavin. “Is there something we’re missing here?”
“No, just fucking with Lincoln.”
“Leave your poor brother alone,” she says. “You’re going to scare Jessa away.”
“It’s nice seeing a family like this. I’m not planning on going anywhere,” Jessa says. Aiden wraps his arm around her shoulder, squeezing it like he couldn’t be prouder to be with her.
It hits me then that I want that open, easy affection.
I want it with Lincoln.
His hand is still on my thigh, soothing as ever, even though I feel like I might combust with the tension and our secret hanging over our head.
There’s a piece of me that just wants to stand up and blurt it out, and deal with the fallout. But I don’t. I stay seated in my chair, yet I don’t remove his hand.
Maybe there’s a piece of me that wants this secret to be unfolded for us, but I also want to keep him to myself. What if telling them ruins everything and creates a wedge between us?
It’s so much easier to forget about the consequences when I’m not surrounded by my family every waking second.
“What about you, Penny? Are you seeing anyone?” Maggie asks.
This woman is out to kill me. Why yes, Aunt Maggie, I’m falling in love with your son, who has his bare hand on my thigh right now. Lincoln squeezes my leg.
“There’s someone I like, but I’m not sure yet.”
Maggie and my mom both perk up wanting to know more, and I know I fucked up. I should have lied. But lying about having feelings for someone seemed like too big of a lie. Haven’t I hurt Lincoln enough?
“What’s the issue?”
“It’s complicated,” I say, grabbing my glass of water and willing myself to disappear.
