I tuck away my cock and Gloom pouts, tucking his hands on his lap.
“I thought?—”
“You were good,” I tell him, trying to assure him. “I’d just like this to be somewhere other than the public bathroom at L&T.”
Ladybird looks away, and I hand her pants to her. She doesn’t look at either of us as she gets dressed. Gloom takes the belt off of his neck and hands it to her.
“You came into the bathroom, you wanted to stay,” Ladybird says, and I immediately know that I fucked up.
“I’d just like to do this slower, all of us getting to know each other better.”
“I’ve known you for years, Cupio. This is actually so fucking typical of you. Why do you sabotage everything fucking good in your life?” she asks, but looks down at Gloom, not letting me answer. “That was fun, Gloom. I’ll see you at the next planning meeting.”
She flings the door dramatically before storming off.
I scratch my beard as Gloom gets up, dusting off his knees.
“What did I do?” I ask him, and he lets out a confused sigh.
“You kissed her, she came, and then you froze and tucked your dick away. How do you think that made her feel?”
“I just don’t want her to think I only want sex.”
Gloom smiles and shakes his head. “You’re lucky you’re fucking hot.”
“What do I do now?”
Gloom smiles and grabs me by my harness. “Time to whip your ass into shape, daddy cupid.”
He laughs, but my cheeks flame in embarrassment.
Who would have thought a reaper would be the one to help save me from myself?
Smiling, happy cupids pass me as I storm off to my apartment.
My feelings are conflicted as I go over every detail of the night. Gloom was easily the biggest highlight. He was eager to please, enthusiastic, and undoubtedly into me. I thought Cupio was too, and then he froze up, like he was making a mistake.
Like I was a mistake.
He kissed me and then it’s like he realized that this wasn’t what he wanted, that I’m not good enough.
Why would he want more? He’s Head Cupid. He demands respect from everyone in the realm. Of course, he wouldn’t want to get involved with me, or a reaper for that matter.
There’s a pang of guilt for leaving Gloom high and dry like that, like I’m no better than Cupio in that regard, but there’s no fucking way I’m going back into that restaurant. I’ll just have to make it up to him somehow.
Gloom is much more suited for me, anyway.
That thought makes more guilt and an uneasy feeling churn in my stomach. Maybe it’s because I know it’s a lie. I selfishly want them both and think we could fit together so well.
Haven’t I been a patient enough cupid? Stranded in this realm where I don’t fit in, loveless and lonely for so long?
It’s not that Gloom isn’t enough, he’s more than enough, and I barely know him. It’s just anytime I picture myself happy, Cupio is a part of that.
Maybe I could be better. I could try to fit in with the cupids more. Maybe that would make him see that I’m worthy enough to be his partner.
I sigh, pressing the code in for my building, one of my nails breaking in the process.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I hiss out as the buzzer beeps, letting me know I haven’t put in the right code. “Fuck you,” I shout out at the buzzer like a lunatic.
