I nod but don’t answer.
“Elena?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
“I don’t think it's as nefarious as it seems. You’re safe there, and if you’re not out on the floor, you’re even safer. You did good calling me. You can always call me when you need me.Always,” he stresses.
His assuring words are the only thing that has my heart rate slowing and my breathing going back to a normal pace.
“Thank you, Cillian.”
“Of course, you’re my girl,” he states before promptly hanging up.
The feeling of dread creeps back in as soon as he hangs up. I put everything back in the box and slide it back under the bed.
Whoever is fucking with me is doing a hell of a job at it.
Staying in my room isn’t a hardship, but I am going a bit stir-crazy. I want to feel some fresh air on my face, but more than anything, I want to see Cillian and Declan.
He hasn’t called, but he has texted me each day to make sure that I’m alright and to assure me that everything is going to be fine. It’s probably stupid, but part of me believes him. I just feel a little hopeless.
I spiral all the same. I contemplated running again, taking the money Cillian gave me and starting somewhere new, but then I quickly crush that idea when I remember how difficult just going to the pharmacy was.
It’s a little pathetic how much I like Cillian taking care of my problems, but fuck, I’m just an Omega.
My suppressants still haven’t come in, so in between internal panic and eating, I masturbate. It’s evident that my heat is coming soon, and I’m hoping that it’s something Cillian and I can talk about when he comes to the club tomorrow.
I know just seeing him is going to bring me so much relief.
I’m not sure what he wants our next arrangement to be, and it’s probably silly to hope for more than what we have now, but it’s what I want. Or, at the very least, for our next agreement to include Declan as well.
I’d be pretty pissed if he let me get to know him only for his plans to include things going back to the way they were. I remind myself that I’m still the one in charge, and I can negotiate.
How do I say exactly how I’m feeling though? I’ve never poured my heart out to anyone before. The idea of being rejected isn’t something I can handle, especially right now.
I don’t particularly want to have my heat here at the High Roller, but if that’s what it comes down to, I will. Sedation isn’t an option; first of all, I don’t have insurance, and secondly, I know for a fact that my brother has contacts at the hospital who would notify him as soon as I showed up.
I can picture the scene now: Anthony rolling up to the hospital and tossing me into a sedan as he drives me to my new pack’s house to claim me during my heat. There would be no softness, just complete ownership.
A tear slides down my face, thinking about being torn away from the potential I have with Cillian and Declan. It’s clear that Cillian is a powerful man, but he has a softness he seems to reserve for just me, and I’ve become addicted to it. Just like how I crave the easy bond I’m building with Declan. And then there’s Finn’s scent—nope, absolutely not—I murder that intrusive thought rattling in my head immediately.
I don’t want a loveless pack who only wants me for an alliance. I want more, and my brother won’t be able to sell me off if I’m already bonded.
That’s the deciding factor for me; tomorrow I’m going to tell Cillian how I feel and see if he feels the same.
I’m done hiding in the dark.
13
CILLIAN
Lorcánand I aren’t close.
For reasons that aren’t his fault but circumstances that neither of us can control. Regardless, this is an absolute fuck up.
Declan drives me to the meeting spot without uttering a word. It’s not a surprise. The Beta is closer to my half-brother than I’ll ever be.
He sighs, and I glare at the side of his head.
