I scoop her limp body up in my arms and take her outside. Leon’s bike is waiting right by the door. He was so fuckin’ close, it has me choking back my own set of fresh tears. Despite how I loathe every part of who I am right now, I’ve got to hold it together for Lily.
Fuckin’ Lily.I sigh to myself, thinking about her pain and everything she’s been through. She deserves so much more than this, than for me to be the one caring for her right now.
But I have to put that aside. My only focus is Lily, everything else, all my plans, everything that needs to come to light is on the back burner.
My sole focus is keeping Lily alive and trying to ease her pain. It’s hard, but I’m able to maneuver her onto the back of the bike. She doesn’t hold herself up, so I keep one arm on her as I take the front seat.
Like second nature, she places her feet on the pegs, but I have to grab her arms and use one hand to hold her against me. I hate not havin’ a helmet for her, but what-the-fuck-ever.
My phone dings, and I pull it out.
Axel
76839 Sperry Drive. Code 8953. We’re taking all the Omegas to the warehouse. Thirteen in total.
Meet me at the house as soon as possible.
As soon as I can find Cash.
Great, just fuckin’ awesome. I knew Cash had another side to him. He’s always so logical and holds it together. But right now,he can’t see beyond his rage. Which is great for the work that needs to be done, but right now Lily needs us more.
“Hold on, darlin’. I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay,” I murmur to her as I start the engine. She grips my cut and holds onto me tightly; it’s the first movement that gives me relief, that she’s down there somewhere.
I need to get her back. I’ve already wasted so much time trying to fix everything for everyone else.
Right now? Lily’s my only focus. The club can fuckin’ fall for all I care.
“Hold on, darlin’.I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay,” Tate murmurs, and I know it’s a lie.
I’ll never be alright again.
My mind and body are on completely different pages, but I mentally will this aching need to go away.
I can’t… I can’t go through this right now… not when….
A fresh wave of sobs flows through me and Tate grips my wrist for dear life, like I might fall off the bike, or purposely fling myself off. The night is cooler than usual, and I shiver.
I’m still wearing the dress I got married in. It’s no longer white. There are splotches of blood, a mixture of mine, Shelby’s, and Leon’s. Not to mention the specks of dirt and filth from being in that house.
It feels symbolic in a way; the hope that I had when I put this dress on, to the complete devastation ripping through me now.
Leon’s brown eyes in his final moments keep flashing behind my closed eyelids, and I don’t know what to do. He was so scared, but he stayed strong for Shelby and me. Even in his last moments, he was protecting me, and I hate how that feels.
No one ever protected Leon and that reality stings. He and Shelby could have been endgame, their relationship was just starting to flourish. It was the first time I truly saw him happy and neither of them got to keep it. The idea of having my own glimpse of happiness or even the gratification of my heat fulfilled seems… wrong.
Tate isn’t taking me back to the compound. I know that much. Is someone going back to tell my mom?
My poor fucking mom, hasn’t she suffered enough?
I’ve known patched members who have died because of the nature of the club… I just never thought it would be Leon or the men I love the most.
I was a fucking fool.
I thought I understood club politics, thought that I knew what was going on. I didn’t know shit, and I’m not sure if I can ever go back to being the fearless girl I once was.
Tate’s scent is the only thing keeping me grounded right now. And the fact that I know he, Cash, Axel, and Shelby are alive. That has to be enough to keep me going.
Just survive.
