“I told you, he thinks you’re cute. You do like the both of us, right?” I ask, feeling insecure.What if he only really likes Elvor?Why am I feeling like such an attention-crazed, needy bitch tonight?
Judd must sense my insecurity, and then his hand is cupping the side of my face. “You’re kidding, right? What isn’t there to want?”
“Kiss me,” I tell him, and he does. His lips descend on mine in a soft, pliable way. Judd takes my direction and kisses, like he’s desperate for me, and I eagerly take everything he’s willing to give.
Our kiss only parts when there’s an agonized scream coming from one of the carnival games. I look up at his green eyes, and he tilts his head as he looks back down at me.
“Your eyes are pink. They’re gorgeous.”
I just smile at him and eat my funnel cake. Maybe having two boyfriends is going to be easier than I thought.
Chapter10
I’m ruining the evening.
Why can’t I just say all of these thoughts I have in my head? Why can’t I tell Judd that I think he looks handsome tonight or ask Mara more questions about herself?
It’s obvious that this date means a lot to her, and I’m fucking blowing it. I promised her courtship; I don’t want our first meeting to be all she sees in me. Don’t get me wrong, I would eagerly do it again. But I don’t want this to be just about sexual attraction, that should be the bonus.
I wish all of our trauma before leaving our realms was left behind with our bodies, but it seems as though those formative years have molded me into the person I am. It’s not that I don’t like myself or see the value that I hold, I just don’t know how to express it.
Vocalizing what I’m thinking or feeling takes a tremendous effort, and I’m not sure what I can do to get better at it. Mara knows that I’m trying. I’ve said more words to her than I have to anyone since I’ve been in Hell, but it has been difficult. It wasn’t easy to sit in her room and have a simple conversation.
When Judd answered her question about where I was from, I was relieved. Relieved that he could say what I wanted for me. I was also in awe of the fact that he knew my history so easily. Maybe he has been watching me as long as I have been watching him.
I need to find a way to communicate, or these two will surely move to the next level without me.
“Should we do the funhouse?” Mara asks as I reach the picnic table. I just needed a moment to clear my head. Her excitement makes me feel invigorated as I nod my head and hold my hand out for her. She swings her legs out from under the table, taking my hand. “Did you have anything to do with the funhouse?” she asks me.
I lean down so only she can hear. I don’t know why I feel better when she’s the only one who can hear my voice. “Just wait and see, little princess.” She grins up at me, and that’s what makes this struggle worth it. I’ll use my voice more if this is the reaction I get.
I’m not sure why it took Mara coming to Hell to finally get me out of my shell, but she’s worth it. She polarizes me like a magnet. It’s evident that she has the same effect on Judd as well.I’m attracted and intrigued by Judd, but the magnetism Mara has is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
“Tickets?” the demon running the stand asks. I recognize him as Johnny; he works in the pits on and off.
We didn’t buy tickets, and I’m frustrated that we need to, seeing as I’m the main reason we even have this event.
Mara steps up to Johnny, making eye contact with him. “We don’t need tickets,” she tells him.
“Right, you don’t need tickets,” he repeats in a monotone voice like mortals sound when we use the gift of persuasion on them.
“Did you just bend him to your will?” Judd asks for the both of us.
“What, like it’s hard?” she says, shrugging her shoulders.
“It’s just it usually only works when demons do it to mortals,” Judd replies.
“Oh, well. I’ve always been able to compel whoever I wanted.” Judd and I both give her a look of surprise, and her gaze bounces between us. “Not that I would use it on the two of you unless you asked me to, of course,” she teases with a wink. “Now, let’s go see what amazing stuff Elvor put in this funhouse.”
She’s far too kind to me as she takes her first few steps into the funhouse. I have faith in her to not get hurt throughout the attraction. At least I built it and know where the dangers are.
Judd leans in to whisper something to me. I have to bend my head down slightly to hear him. “I don’t think even Lucifer can compel other demons,” he says quietly to me, and I contemplate his words for a moment. If Lucifer could compel demons, he definitely would have done so to get information long ago.
“Her mother?” I question Judd, and he tilts his head at me. She’s made it clear she doesn’t know who the woman is. It seems like we need to find that information out sooner rather than later.Would Lucifer feel threatened if his daughter held more power than him in some way?
“Maybe? We’ll need to tell her to keep that bit of information to herself.” We both nod, and I take it as a victory that I spoke to him and him alone. I also like that in such a short time, we’ve pledged our allegiance to the beautiful woman who leads us through the funhouse. I don’t know what it is about her that’s like a beacon, and I don’t care. She’s mine… ours. I find the idea of sharing with Judd tolerable. Mara has made it clear she has no problem sharing him with me, either.
The first part of the funhouse is a swiveling floor. It’s unlike any funhouse in a mortal realm because if you fall, you land inside a pit of snakes. Mara laughs as she jumps from one foot to another until she’s crossed the moving floor and is safely on the other side.
