Mom: Is he going to get you into trouble, Owie? Do I need to come back? Tell me what you need, honey.
He said he wants to help me.
Mom: You don’t trust him?
He likes me more than just being his teammate.
Mom: Do you like him as much as you like Piper?
I roll my eyes. My mom wouldn’t stop talking about Piper after she left. About how pretty and smart she was, and how I was a dumbass for not telling her the truth so she could be my Alpha. Despite my mom’s opinions on how I should be living my life, I do appreciate her support, and she always makes me feel a little less alone.
I don’t know, Mom. It’s all too much. I don’t know what to do.
Mom: You let these Alphas take care of you. Stop being such a fucking dumbass. I love you. Call me later.
I sigh and put my phone away. Taking her advice is easier said than done.
* * *
The ice is sloshy, and we’ve gotten roughed up to the point where the tension is thick. The penalties are getting out of control, and Coach Applegate is one more power play for the Caps from having an aneurysm.
It’s a tie with one goal for each team, and I’m nearly at my breaking point with exhaustion. It’s times like this that the reality of how long I can play hockey hits—this is temporary for me. I can only do this for so long until my body breaks down. So with what time I do have in this arena, on this team, and in the NHL, I’m going to make the most of it.
There’s a stoppage of play, and I take a swig of water and wet my hair. I squirt the bottle in the air and track the flow of the water, realigning my eyesight.
I’m not sure how I manage it, but I stay on my feet, I stay alert, and don’t let another goal slip in. We end the third period at a tie, and I almost wish I would have let a goal in so we didn’t go into overtime.
Multiple teammates clap me on the back, grab my facemask, or slap my ass with their stick as we head back for a short break before coming back out and hopefully winning in overtime. The thought of going to shootouts makes me want to throw up.
I’m about to walk into the locker room when a fist grabs my shirt and drags me into an alcove.
I’m so tired that I just blink at Alexi as he holds me by my jersey.
“What do you need?” he asks, his eyes searching mine. At this moment, I can hardly give a fuck about the consequences. I just need… I need to be me. The person I shove so far away that most of the time I don’t know who I am.
I answer truthfully. “I don’t know.”
He places his hand behind the back of my head and the other on my back. I wish we could ditch all the heavy gear, but there's no time. We’ve got to get back out there soon enough.
Alexi holds me tight against his chest as a purr rumbles out of him. His scent wraps around me like a cocoon, and his touch gives me purchase.
“You’re doing so good out there. The team needs you, but if you can’t do overtime, we can send Johannson in.”
“No, I can do it,” I mumble against his chest. He feels so good next to me, and I’m somehow getting re-energized from his touch and words alone.
“I know you can. You never need to tell me how strong you are because I already know.”
I want to laugh and tell him he’s being ridiculous, but all I do is accept this kind comfort that he’s giving me, what he promised me. That he wants to help me and that he will keep my secrets.
“This helped,” I say, about to tug away, but he just holds me closer, like he doesn’t want this moment to ever end. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want the same thing.
Eventually he lets go, not a word said between the two of us as we head back out on the ice. We clench the win with only two minutes to spare, and I sleep the short flight home. I’m so exhausted by the time we get to the practice facility that I worry about getting home.
Luckily for me, the decision is out of my hands when Alexi leads me to his car. I’m not sure how I get home, or how I end up tucked in my bed. But when I do wake up, all I can think about are the two Alphas who seem to be consuming all my thoughts and how much longer I can keep them at an arm's length.
CHAPTER16
Did I let a week go by on accident? Maybe, possibly? All I know is that I’m barely functioning, and the thought of talking to Alexi about my feelings or reaching out to Owen feels like too much. No matter how much a part of me is craving both of them.
