We just finished up our team dinner, and it’s time to rest for tomorrow’s game, but I feel on edge. Sometimes when you’re keeping a secret as big as mine, you can’t help but feel like everyone knows you’re hiding something. All it would take is a major slip up, me missing a pill or not putting on the proper amount of scent blocking deodorant on. One simple slipup could ruin everything I’ve worked so fucking hard for. It’s not even hiding my designation that’s my biggest concern. It’s the way Johannson has been looking at me lately. I know I took the guy’s starting position, but he seems to be taking it hard.
“Don’t fuck up tomorrow, Connery,” he says passing by.
“Play better, Johannson,” Alexi says to him before I’m able to say anything back. “Don’t let him rile you up, roomie. Let’s go.”
“It didn’t bother me,” I reply.
“Either way, he shouldn’t be talking to a teammate like that. Not when we should be working together.”
I walk in step with him, and he smiles at a few of the team members as we make our way to the lobby. He pushes the button to our floor, and I can’t help but feel the tension rise with each moment we wait. I can’t help but wonder if this is one sided? Am I so fucking paranoid and devoid of human contact that I’ve deluded myself into thinking he’s more friendly toward me than others?
The bell chimes, and a few older women leave the elevator. All of them give Alexi a once over before fully exiting into the lobby.
“Could have had one of those bitties,” I joke, and Alexi laughs.
“Finding someone willing isn’t a problem I have,” Alexi says. It’s not in a cocky way, more so matter-of-fact. I scoff and shake my head, believing that he has no problems finding someone to sleep with him.
“What’s the problem you have?” I wonder if he’s going to disclose anything to me. I noticed the way he flirted with Piper at the Christmas party. And while I think the man gives me attention, it’s nothing like the way he looks at Piper. Which might be similar to the way I’m looking at Piper, and I don’t know how to make myself stop looking at her that way. How I can’t seem to stop finding ways to run into Piper or spend time with her. It’s overwhelming how much peace she brings me when I’m around her, and I can’t help it, I feel like she’s the only thing keeping the part of me I keep hidden sane.
“Not a problem that can’t be fixed.”
“Mysterious, I like it.”
He smirks and keeps his distance in the elevator, and I’m thankful. He smells great, not even just his pheromones. Whatever cologne he’s wearing only brings out the richness of his clove and ginger scent. It’s times like these I’m grateful for all the medication I’m on. Besides allowing me to live a semi-normal life, they also prevent me from bending over in this elevator and begging this Alpha to fuck me because he smells so good. I bet Alexi has a massive knot.
I’m zoned out when Alexi clears his throat. “Coming?” he smirks as he asks. I nod my head and follow him down the hall.
The hotel is nice, and while I’m excited to be on the road for multiple games, sharing such a small space for a stretch of time is going to be difficult.
“You can take the first shower,” Alexi says as he plops down on the bed and takes his phone out.
“Thanks.”
If he thinks it’s strange that I bring an entire carry-on sized bag in the bathroom, he doesn’t let on. I use all of my products that I normally do, and I’m trying not to focus on the large hulking man just on the other side of this door.
My wishful thinking is for naught as my dick gets hard. Which doesn’t happen often with all the medication I’m on, and well, it’s not going to go down itself.
The risk is high, knowing that my scent will linger in the shower, but I can’t help myself. Spitting down on my cock, I start with tentative light strokes. It feels so much better than it should, and I hope it doesn’t become a common occurrence.
What kind of fucking Omega wishes their hard-on would go away? Probably the one who hides his designation like he’s a government operative. I shake my head, draining these negative thoughts from my head, and go back to touching myself.
My mind wanders to the Alpha on the other side of the door and the one all the way back in Connecticut. They would look so fucking good together. I can’t help but to think of the attention they would give me.
Piper locking her tight pussy around my dick while Alexi knots me is playing in my head like a movie. The way Alexi would be pounding me from behind, making me fuck our pretty Alpha who is underneath me. The way that Piper would look up at me like I’m special and not a complete disappointment.
The way they would lean over my shoulder and kiss each other while they use me and take what they want.
I groan as my strokes increase, my other hand holding myself up against the tile. Warm spray pounds my back as I fist my cock and release against the tile wall. I breathe heavily as I look at my cum splattered on the wall. Shame runs down my spine that I used Piper and Alexi to get off like that. More so how I embraced being an Omega and having them use me for their pleasure.
I hate myself. How have I gotten this fucked up? I wish I was okay with who I was—what I am. But the truth is, I’d rather be anyone else, and if Alexi and Piper knew what I am, I’m sure they would be disgusted by me and my lies.
I don’t need Alphas to take care of me, I can take care of myself. What I need is to not lose focus and accomplish what I need to. If I don’t, I feel like there will always be this gaping hole in my chest, the one where I store my self-worth.
With the sprayer in hand, I clean up my mess and begin washing myself. The water pours over me like the shame I carry with me everyday. I’m methodical when I clean, making sure there’s no trace of my essence, which is difficult for me to smell because it’s my own.
Once I’m sure that I’ve cleaned myself and the shower enough, I get out, apply my scent blockers, take my medicine, and brush my teeth.
I want to smack myself for bringing an entire apothecary to the shower and not my clothes. I wrap a towel around my waist and leave, a plume of steam following me. Alexi is already up and nearly bumping my shoulder to get into the bathroom.
