Alexi was probably right, I shouldn’t have driven. Because, to be quite honest, I’m not even sure how I got from Charlotte’s house to ours. But I’m now parked in the driveway and getting out. Alexi and Owen follow, and the tension is thick, and words unspoken follow us into our home.
I don’t have the energy.
“I’m going to take a shower and head to bed.”
“Piper,” Owen says, putting his hands in his pockets and looking at the floor.
“I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
They both give me a look. Alexi's is curious and feeling out of the loop. Owen’s look is more complicated. It’s a look of guilt, but also irritation? I can’t help but feel like I’m the source of it. I ignore both of them and head to my bathroom.
Crying in the shower is truly the most cathartic way to unleash your demons. The water flowing from the shower muffles my small whimpers, and the warm water loosens my muscles. I feel weak for breaking down, for caring, for letting such a small thing bother me this much. All these old feelings crept up on me like an absolute motherfucker.
I know it's not just about Owen not telling his mom. It’s that I don’t have a mom to tell, that my dad doesn’t care. He kicked me out of the house for not doing what he wanted, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.
Logically, I know that I have people that care about me, that Owen cares about me and he didn’t mean to hurt me.
It doesn’t make it hurt any less. This overwhelming feeling that no matter what I do, what I become, it will never be enough. It won’t be enough for myself, my dad, my Omega.
So what’s the fucking point?
I wrap my arms around my legs as I sit on the tiled floor and rest my cheek on my knee. My tears are starting to calm down, but my negative thoughts continue to run rampant.
The creak of the bathroom door has me wiping my tears, but I don’t bother standing up. I hear what sounds like clothes being removed until the shower curtain is pulled back, and it’s Owen, entering the shower fully naked, coming to sit behind me. His legs bracket mine as he wraps his arms around me.
Fuck.
I crack. I swear, I’ve never cried in front of someone so much in my life. It’s the absolute worst. I would really rather drag my bare ass on hot pavement than to continually cry in front of my Omega at this point.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers into my wet hair, holding me tight. “I love you. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me being fucking stupid. I’m fucking this all up. I… I don’t know how to be an Omega. Hell, I don’t know how to be somebody's boyfriend. I have a lot of growing up to do, Piper. You deserve more, I want to be better.”
I nod my head, and his arms tighten around me further.
“When am I going to stop being such a fucking mess?” I say, and he kisses my shoulder.
“You’re not a mess. You're a bonded Alpha, who got into an insanely competitive residency, who has so many friends who love her deeply. You’re not a mess, Piper, you’re just so fucking hard on yourself. And I certainly didn’t help by not thinking things through. This isn’t on you, it’s on me. I’m so sorry, Alpha.”
Great, more tears. The warm water pelts the both of us as I shift on the floor and wrap my legs and arms around him. His ownership of what he did wrong and that this isn’t all on me is soothing and something I’m not used to hearing.
“Am I the needy one in this relationship?” I ask, trying to joke away all the emotion.
“No, that's obviously Alexi.”
“Obviously,” I say, pulling back and looking at Owen’s face. He pushes back a wet piece of hair, and his fingers track down my face.
“As soon as this series is over, everything changes. No more hiding, no more secrets, I promise. I’m going to be a better man for you, I promise.”
“I’m sorry for being so dramatic.”
“You weren’t. You were hurt, and this is how you’ve always acted when someone hurts you. Next time, don’t run. I’m not going anywhere, and you know Alexi isn’t either. I don’t ever want to make you feel this way again. I hate seeing you cry and knowing I’m the reason why.” He squeezes me tightly and inhales deeply.
“You’re the Omega. You were upset first with your brother's team winning. I should have been there for you, not the other way around.”
“We’re a pack?” he asks me, and I nod my head. “Then it doesn’t matter any of our designations. We’re all going to be there for each other based on who needs it, and you were there for me. All this is new for me, I’ve never had to think about people outside of myself. I’ve never had anyone outside of my mom treat me like an Omega.”
“What do you mean?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You think I ever just casually lie on the couch and let someone pet my hair? Or that I would have ever trusted someone with my heat before? Fuck, I’d never even spent the night in someone’s bed before I met you two. Let alone live with them or consider someone else's feelings. I’m learning to be someone's partner while also figuring out what it means to be an Omega. I keep fucking up when it comes to you.” He pets back some of my wet hair and I sigh.
