I groanas I stretch my arms and wake up. Sleep was hard to find, but I was so exhausted I somehow managed. But when I look over at Jessa, it’s clear she hardly slept.
She blinks at me, her eyes red and puffy, and I gather her up and hold her against my chest. The situation alone, with her ex trying to abduct her when he had a deadly weapon, but how Jessa is processing scares me just as much.
“Are you going to the office?” she says quietly, and I stay calm and shake my head and kiss her hair.
“No, I’m staying here with you. I’m awake now, if you want to try and sleep?”
“I don’t know if I can,” she says, and I hold her closer.
“What do you need, baby?”
“You promise this isn’t too much? That you’re not going to leave because of this?”
“I’m not going anywhere, and I’m going to take care of you. Whatever you need, just tell me.”
She sobs in my arms, and I wish I knew why. I mean, there are a multitude of reasons right now, but I just let her get the emotion out. Her tears drip on my bare chest as I hold her tightly.
“I never thought he would do something like that. I knew he was upset about me leaving, but I didn’t think he was capable of hurting me that way. I didn’t even know he had a gun.”
“His actions aren’t your fault, you know that, right?”
“Logically, yes. But this somehow feels like my fault. You hurt your hand more because of him. You put yourself in danger for me.”
I cup her face, and wait till her sad and sleepy eyes meet mine. “And I’d do it all over again. I love you, you’re mine, and I’m always going to keep you safe.”
Her crying continues, and she lets me hold her and comfort her until her tears stop and she’s finally sleeping in my arms. I hold her as she finally gets rest, and I get some comfort in knowing she feels safe enough with me to fall asleep. It’s going to take a lot of work to handle this moving forward, but if anyone can do it, it’s us.
* * *
Working from home is more pleasant than I’d like to admit—not having multiple people in and out of my office—and I spend all day with Jessa.
We both work in my office. I cleared off half of the space and ordered her a desk chair. It’s companionable and while she’s still struggling, she’s out of bed, and she isn’t crying. She’s completely thrown herself into getting her company up and running.
While I’m happy that she’s found a distraction, I want to make sure it’s in a healthy way. I’m probably overstepping, but when we entered this relationship, we agreed what some of the dynamics would be. Learning what a psychopath Sean is, I’m even more cautious of what lines I’m crossing, but I say it anyway.
“I made you a virtual therapy appointment.” She pauses her typing and looks up at me.
“I don’t have health insurance. I left Kemper’s, remember?” I want to scoff at her, but I don’t.
“I’m taking care of it.”
“Okay,” she says, and I let out a relieved breath of air. “Did you think I was going to fight you on this?”
I shrug. “I mean, I was prepared.”
“I think I need it, have needed it for a while now. Plus, I want to leave the house again.” I nod and round the table and pet down her hair.
“We’re moving at your pace, whatever you need.”
She places her face against my stomach. I’m so fucking thankful she hasn’t retreated from my touch. She seems to need it more than ever, and I’m more than eager to give it to her. Jessa grabs my right hand and kisses it softly. “How’s your hand?”
“Still tender but better.” She kisses it again. “Penny wants to know if she can come by today?”
Jessa smiles and nods her head. Wanting her friend over is another win in my book. I kiss the top of her head and text Penny to come by around lunch.
I leave the room and call the station.
“Sargent Paulson,” he answers.
