“Maybe I should stuff my panties in your mouth and see how you do,” I say, and he arches a brow at me.
“How about you come over tonight and ride my cock the way you want,” he says, and I smile.
“Don’t you leave for Atlanta early tomorrow?”
He leans in and kisses my jaw. “Yes, so I want every last second with you.”
“I can drive home when you leave,” I say, and he shakes his head.
“No, you can stay the night and come right to work. I’ll give you a key.”
I blink up at him a few times. He just ate me out while he sat in his office chair and now he’s trusting me with a key to his house. I’m not sure that I deserve this treatment, but I’m going to take it anyway, so I give him one more kiss before I go and complete the rest of my work for the day.
* * *
I’m not exactly sure when I became so codependent on Aiden, though it’s part of our relationship. I hate being at the cottage right now. Well, I’m hating being alone at the cottage right now. Today at the office sucked without Aiden. It’s clear that people are on their best behavior at the office when he’s around. I’ve gotta make sure that I talk to Aiden more about finding something else.
I grab a fork out of the top drawer so I can eat the Chinese food I picked up on my way home, when I see the back window facing the beach open. I could have sworn I shut that yesterday. There’s a storm coming tonight, and it’s fucking hot, so I walk over and shut the window and lock the hatch, shaking my head as I take my food into the living room. I put on one of my favorite shows and have my phone up so I can buy some items before our trip in two weeks.
Aiden: *picture of him lying in his hotel bed, looking relaxed and sleepy*
Aren’t you cute?
Aiden: This is true, what are you up to?
Just eating, doing some shopping for our trip.
Aiden: Send me the links of what you’re looking at.
I shake my head, but send him about ten links at once. He doesn’t answer for twenty minutes. I just keep eating my food and watching my show until my phone buzzes.
Aiden: I got everything and then some, will be at my place when I get back.
Thank you, Daddy.
Aiden: Anything for my girl.
I’m feeling lonely, but having Aiden spoil me and knowing that he’ll be home in a few days brings me enough comfort to get some sleep.
23
CRACKED TRAUMA EGGS
Apparently the bestway to get over your nerves about going on vacation with your boyfriend’s family is to go to a sex club poker game. Aiden said some of the ladies play, and if I wanted to, I could as well, but the idea of sitting on his lap and squirming in anticipation all night seemed a lot more my speed.
The dress that Aiden picked out for me is blush pink and adorable. It’s a silky material, and while I’m covered, it’s still sexy and gives him plenty of room to slide his hand up the skirt of the dress.
I’ve been hiding it pretty well, but I continue to worry about the other shoe dropping—that Aiden is going to do something I don’t like and whether I’ll be able to speak up. I stayed silent far too many times with Sean. I even hated his pet name for me, and I just never said anything. I cringed in silence. It makes my stomach hurt, and it makes me feel like the way he treated me was my fault because I never stood up for myself and told him that I didn’t like something.
Like when he would go too far with spankings, I would just push through and bear it. And when he wasn’t keen on aftercare, I would just go in the shower and silently cry while the warm water splattered against my body.
I feel like I’ve given Aiden this impression that I’m not scared to ask for what I want. It’s truly hard for me, but I know I have to do it. If I go quiet again, I could find myself so lonely and hurt even when in a relationship, and I don’t want that again. I also feel guilty for putting so much pressure on my relationship with Aiden. Everything he’s shown me so far makes me feel like an asshole for having doubts.
I push this aside as I do my hair, Aiden requests it down. My hair isn’t super curly, but when I use a few products and my diffuser it has a strong bounce to it. My heart squeezes in my chest. Sean always requested that my hair was bone straight or in a braid down my back.
I’ve got to stop comparing them, even though Aiden wins at every turn, it’s just not fair to him that I have this scoreboard in my head.
My makeup is light, well, to the human eye. Meanwhile I spent forty-five minutes trying to achieve this look. But I’m feeling beautiful, and I refuse to let negative thinking get in my way tonight.
