“I like kids,” I say with a shrug of my shoulder.
“Do you want kids someday?” she asks and I clear my throat, wondering if this is the moment that it all comes crumbling down.
“I haven’t completely decided, but I’ve been leaning toward no,” I say to her honestly.
She sighs in relief and nods her head. “I’ve felt the same way. Everyone is always saying I might change my mind. But I can’t help but feel that I like exploring and doing my own thing too much to have children. I wish I had siblings so I could have nieces and nephews that I could dote on and then return back to their parents.”
“I have three brothers, but they all seem just as hopeless as me when it comes to finding a long term partner.”
“You are far from hopeless,” she says, squeezing my hand. “Honestly, the whole time you were on that field I was wondering how you were ever single in the first place.”
I shrug my shoulders and look down at her. “I wasn’t always so patient, I used to have a temper. It’s something that I’ve really been working on since I got involved at Kemper’s.”
She squeezes my hand and wraps her other around my bicep.
“I’ve only seen your kindness since we’ve met. Even at the funeral, you were the only person who was kind to me. You didn’t have to be.”
“I absolutely did. I know it’s hard to talk about Collin, but he would be so pissed with how Zach is acting.”
Talking about Collin always makes her uncomfortable, so we move on.
“What about your mom?” I ask.
She sighs. “My mom had her own issues, but she did love me the best she could with what she had. I think seeing Zach and everything he grew up with makes me feel like I could have been saved. But she did love me, she did try, but at the end of the day her addiction won.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“It’s been five years now, it still hurts. But at the same time she isn’t suffering anymore. I know that now, she truly was suffering.” She shakes her head. “What about your family?”
“Well, I told you I have three brothers.” She nods her head and smiles. “My parents are still together, they live on the bay. I usually go there every other week.”
“Have you always been close to them?”
“Not always, my last year playing and a few years after I retired were hard.” She squeezes my bicep again as we reach the restaurant. I give them my name and we’re seated under the shaded patio.
“This is nice.” She looks over the menu. “Do you have a favorite dish?”
“I can order for us,” I suggest and she closes the menu with a smile. “Anything you don’t like?”
“Not a fan of oysters, clams, or mussels.”
“How un-Florida of you,” I joke. The waiter takes our drink order, and I order appetizers and main dishes for the both of us. “How are you liking the cottage?” I ask her.
“It’s nice. I’m grateful to have it, but it doesn’t feel like home yet.”
“Is it all the lighthouses?” She laughs and nods her head while she plays with the end of the table cloth. I’ve noticed her fingers always seem to be busy. She’s always touching or fidgeting with whatever she has nearby.
“Or the little bits I learn every time I open a drawer and find pieces of information about the man I’ll never know.”
“If you ever have questions about him, or want to know anything, I’m here.”
“I know and I appreciate that. It just… I don’t know, hurts?” she says. Her brown eyes search mine as the waiter drops off her wine and my whiskey.
“I really wish I knew what he was thinking. I know Abigail would have left, and I guess he was trying to protect his marriage. It’s not an excuse, he should have done better. You deserved more.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly and takes another sip. “I think the conversation has gotten too heavy, what do you think?”
“You’re right. You did good with the bat today. You’re going to need to get a little bit better though.”
