He gives me a look like he wants to tell me the truth, but then remembers that he’s my boss. “She complains a lot,” is all he says, and I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth.
There’s a dark bitchy side of me that wants to say maybe she would stop complaining if she wasn’t with someone like Zach, but I swallow it. I hate being that person, but I can’t say that it’s a total lie.
“Maybe we should give her more bats to take stickers off of, and see how much she complains then,” I say, and Aiden smirks at me. He shakes his head and looks down at the documents coming out of the printer.
“Are these your branding ideas?”
“Yeah,” I say in an airy tone. I don’t even recognize my voice.
“I’m excited to see them. When did you want to go over everything?” he says, not disturbing my papers, and my heart starts beating rapidly under my rib cage. It’s a mixture of fear and excitement. I think my ideas are great, but what if he hates them? There’s also the fact that I’ll be in his office with him, staring at his hands, watching his expressions and thinking about how dreamy he is.
Why couldn’t I have had an ugly boss?
“I have time on Friday,” he says, and I nod my head.
“Friday works.”
“Looking forward to it,” he says with a smile, as he heads back to his Tabitha-free office. I really wish Aiden would start being a dick to me. His kindness is giving me mixed signals, and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through this meeting without combusting.
* * *
Did I sleep last night? Certainly fucking not. The thought of this presentation has been running through my head all night. Being in Aiden’s office with him, and the dirty thoughts I keep having about him don’t help.
The thought of leaning over his desk to reach for a stapler and his hand creeping up the back of my thigh. Fuck, I even thought about him fucking me bent over the desk with his office door wide open, Tabitha staring with wide-eyed jealousy. Yeah, this isn’t helpful. At least I have Avalon to look forward to on Saturday, so maybe some of this pent-up tension will get released then because my vibrator sure as hell isn’t getting the job done.
I put on more makeup than usual, covering my under eyes and giving me a hopefully brighter appearance than I feel right now.
When Aiden calls me into his office, I feel like every nerve ending is firing off, but I grab my portfolio, ready to impress him as I sit opposite his desk.
He gives me a soft smile, and maybe I’m deluded, but I haven’t seen him smile that way toward anyone else in the office.
“Let’s see it,” he says, holding out his hand and accepting the papers.
“My idea is Kemper’s standard logo is fine, but needs to be incorporated more into each division. Right now, there’s nothing in the baseball line that matches with the skateboard line. And while that’s great because there are major differences between products and buyers, we still want people to remember the Kemper name. There needs to be some uniform representation in the branding.”
He smiles again, flicking through the pages, and I feel proud of them. Is this the work I want to do for the rest of my life? Hell no. But I feel proud of the direction and the work I put in, and when I look at Aiden’s face, I can tell he is too.
“You’ve done a great job, Jessa,” he says, looking at my designs and marking up which ones he loves or isn’t sure about. “I’m—Collin would have been proud of this,” he says, swallowing and looking back down at the files.
It feels like everything falls back to his relationship with my father and the current situation we find ourselves in—me being his employee. He leaves me notes and tells me again how proud he is of the work I’ve done. There’s something soft in his eyes as he says it, and I still feel like something is lingering between us, but I let it go. I need to find an outlet for these feelings instead of imposing them on him. If he felt the same there would be a clearer sign.
* * *
It’s Saturday night and I’ve RSVP’d for Avalon’s open event. It’s black tie, and I have my tight-black dress on. It hits me in all the right places, and I feel confident even if I’m still nervous. I have small gold hoop earrings with butterflies on them and my hair is in loose curls down my back. I feel beautiful, and my new tan from living on the beach doesn’t hurt either.
I’m not usually someone who is into casual. Not that I would ever judge someone who is, but for me and what I’m looking for in a sexual dynamic, there needs to be trust, and you can’t just earn that overnight. Avalon does offer a sense of security that going out to a club or bar doesn’t offer. Picking up a stranger, you lose the safety that somewhere like Avalon offers. Not to mention most people here have some idea of kink etiquette and the chances of finding someone who matches my interests are higher.
I wouldn’t be able to pay the membership fees right now, but I wonder if there are any discounts for single women. I’m getting way ahead of myself, per usual. But, I at least have tonight. I think Penny is right that being with someone else will really put the nail in the coffin that was my relationship with Sean.
Avalon isn’t far from the office, and it’s around sunset when I arrive. The entrance is a mix of black and gold, not in a cheap way. It feels lux and formal with dimmed lighting. I sign in at the front of the desk and check my purse and phone into their secure lockers. I almost feel naked without my phone, there’s nothing to hide behind.
My heels click on the black marble as I join the woman—Clara—who will be providing our tour.
“After the tour you can sign up for membership or ask questions. You can engage in everything except sexual activity, since we need STI screening for our members. But touching, if welcomed by one of our members, is permitted.”
There are two couples along with me on the tour, and I can’t help but feel out of place. I’m not sure if I could join a couple or not. No, I know for a fact I couldn’t. I wish I was that bold, but I would want to be the center of attention and that’s not possible when you have to take two people into consideration.
“Avalon prides itself on being a clean, safe, and unique place for you to indulge in your fantasies. We take our members’ privacy and safety above all else. If you decide to sign up, your information will remain confidential and cameras are not permitted on the premises.” She walks us through the halls and there are a series of closed doors.
