A sudden burn hits the center of my chest.
“Fucking hell.”
When I grab the chain around my neck that rests under my clothes, the crystal burns against my fingers. She’s wearing the necklace and is summoning me to her. I smile to myself, gripping the crystal and portalling directly to her.
I land with a smile on my face, but when my eyes connect with Lilith’s and those who surround her, all I’m filled with is a devastating amount of rage.
Chapter twenty-two
WhenI’mbackinmy body, I realize that Lucifer was telling me the truth about astral projecting. To give him the credit he did give me multiple warnings letting me know that I wasn’t dreaming. Not that I regret it, but I feel confused. The way he looked at me and spoke to me, it was reverent and of someone who truly missed a lover.
It wasn’t the way I thought he would look at me. Like the demon he threw aside to protect Beelzebub.
It was unexpected and hotter than any dream I’ve had of him. Even though we didn’t physically touch, knowing that I have that power over him, that I made him come from just watching me, made me feel powerful and desired beyond anything I’ve ever felt. No other sex dream had ever felt that intense, I know he was telling me the truth. I have to take a moment and decipher which moments were truly dreams and which ones were me astral projecting. It doesn’t take long to sort out my consciousness, and I sigh, touching my rapidly beating heart.
The realization that all of these times I thought we were having conversations in my dreams were truly me seeking him out and projecting to him. The Lucifer I wished I could be with was real. I sigh heavily trying to gather all of my emotions about the man I thought discarded me. He’s actually been here all along, giving me space while also being there for me.
I knew before I left Hell that there was a cosmic connection between Lucifer and me, but after this time, when I thought we were growing apart—we were actually getting closer. Maybe Icantrust him. The idea that he was the person Diana was warning me about has rung less and less true the more I’ve had time to think about it.
But the more and more I think about it, I know one thing. I want to be with Lucifer, and I think it’s about time I accept that reality. He’s not the man I originally thought he was. Sure, he’s complicated, stoic, and a routine pain in my ass... but this longing for him? Those conversations I’ve had in my dreams, they’ve kept me sane while I’ve been parted from Hell.
I’m not sure if I’m ready to go to Hell and have this discussion with him. I still have work to do. I need to find out what Diana was coming to Hell to tell me and who is responsible for her death—besides Beelzebub. Lucifer said he would help me with that slime-ball, and I believe him, but we need to find him first.
One of the things that shocked me the most was that he still wears the necklace. That little connection we have together, he carries it with him everywhere he goes.
Call me a sentimental sap, but somehow that meant more to me than him saying he misses me. He all but said he’s been stalking me, and I wonder if all this talk of protection Kas has been giving me is valid.
I scrub my face in the sink and open the drawer. The jewelry box is a symbol of me taking a step forward. My life has been stagnant on Earth, it hasn’t felt meaningful without Diana or as effortless as my short time in Hell felt.
I open the black box and grab the necklace, looping it around my neck. A sense of belonging fills me as the cool crystal lands between my breasts. Lucifer’s warning about the coin rings in my mind, so I put the coin Rainn gave me into the box. I don’t feel comfortable doing it like I’m misbehaving or something, and as I walk away from the drawer, the tug of the coin feels less heady, especially as I toy with the crystal on my neck.
While I might be projecting back into Lucifer’s private quarters tonight, I have a promise to fill. I need to avenge Diana; it feels like until I do that, I can’t move forward. I feel selfish for how desperately I want to move on and live life for myself. While I know my life will be extraordinarily long, I can’t continue to have this weighing on me.
I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, groaning at the firm material of the jeans and wishing I was wearing one of the luxurious dresses I had in Hell. I’m not sure when I became a whore for luxury, but damn, do I miss the effortless elegance in Hell.
Stop it.
We’re not thinking about Hell, Lucifer, or the way he came looking at me.
I’m going to kill Beelzebub today, and after that, maybe I’ll astral project into Lucifer’s bedroom and watch him masturbate. I have holy water, a charmed noose, and a standard dagger in my purse. Not enough to kill Beelzebub, but likely enough to push him off-kilter and portal him to Hell. I’ll take him to Hell, and Lucifer will help me. I smile at the thought.
It’s a cooler evening, especially by the docks as I walk around. It’s eerily quiet, making me worry that Rainn’s playing me and I’ll be on wild goose chase for the rest of my life. Seeking vengeance for someone who’s no longer here and will never return. The idea of needing closure is what fuels me. It’s the only thing that will allow me to move on.
There’s a bang against one of the shipping containers, and I walk over. The containers are stacked in rows of ten wide and four high. The noise comes from the far left, and I open the door with ease. The creak of the metal is the only sound I hear. The inside of the container is dark and damp as I walk in.
The door slowly shuts to partially open, but the dreary daylight from outside doesn’t help me see anything in the metal box. There doesn’t seem to be any cargo, and once I go to turn around, I find that I physically cannot move. It’s like an invisible wall is set between me and the exit of this container.
“Rainn?”
“She’s all yours,” I hear Rainn say, his voice floating around me. I watch as two forms exchange what looks like to be a glittering diadem. Well, it looks like it is real, and it’s clear I was playing him.Fuck me.
“Heard you’ve been looking for me,” the deep voice rumbles, shaking the container walls. I look at the floor, vaguely seeing the outline of a Devil’s trap.Motherfucker.
Kas told me to be careful, to always pay attention when I was walking into a building or room. The first time I try to do something without her, and this is what my dumbass does.
Suddenly the container illuminates from what looks like white Christmas lights hung around the edges. When I spin around, I find none other than Ezekiel sitting on the chair in front of me. His white wings spread, and the smug look on his face makes me want to slap it off of him.
I decide to play it cool, letting my temper flare or my true intentions come to light is not the way to play this.
