“If you really want to go back to Margo and my dad’s house, I’ll take you.”
I shake my head and breathe in and out. “I…I”
“Let’s go get food and then talk, okay? We can talk it through.”
I nod my head. It feels like my tongue weighs a million pounds, and my heart won’t slow down. It’s one thing to have a fantasy but another completely for it to come to reality. My stepbrother went down on me and basically forced me to accept his claim on me, and now he wants me to move into his house?
He told me it was more than physical, but what the fuck does that mean? My head is spinning, and this all feels like it’s happening too fast. My mom is going to freak the fuck out. What will people say and think about us if this really becomes a thing? What if they like me for now but decide I’m not a good fit later on? What if I never compare to James? They already have such a beautiful Omega.
Ian’s large hand grabs my thigh as he squeezes the flesh. “Stop overthinking.”
“I can’t just stop thinking,” I say back. How is he so calm and so sure about this?
He sighs and squeezes again, his hand is warm and big, and I can’t help but have flashbacks of him holding my thighs around his face. It makes me blush, and I can’t help my perfume thickening in the cab of the car.
Glancing over at Ian, he smirks and inhales. “That’s the good kind of thinking. Keep thinking about whatever you’re thinking about now.”
I blush and try to tone it down, but there’s no hope. My sexual experience is depressingly limited. While I masturbate like it’s a chronic condition, it just never felt right with anyone. I almost went all the way with a guy I met online, a Beta named Lenny. While he was blond and super nice, he was nothing like the larger than life man sitting next to me.
Is it pathetic to save your virginity for your stepbrother? Or is it even worse to save it, the opportunity is finally yours, and you feel like you might have a mental breakdown?
I attempt to rub my thighs together, but Ian doesn’t let me. His fingertips grip my thigh tightly, preventing them from touching each other.
Ian parks the car and glances at me questioningly. “What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Let’s go eat.” He gets out first and gets my car door for me. I feel extremely underdressed next to Ian as we go into the small diner. A friendly woman in a baby blue dress and an apron smiles at us and grabs two menus, then leads us to a cozy booth in the corner. Everything in the diner is 50s themed, except for the mini jukebox at our table, which has songs that go up to the 90s.
I felt underdressed before, but now that we’re seated, Ian is the one who looks out of place with his perfectly styled hair and what I imagine is an extremely expensive suit.
“So?” I tilt my head, looking at him.
He scrubs his beard with the palm of his hand. “This all went a lot easier in my head,” he says.
I swallow, and the waitress drops off our waters. “Ready to order?”
“Can I have a Belgium waffle with strawberries and whipped cream? Oh, and a side of bacon, please,” I ask the waitress with a smile.
“Sure thing, sweetheart. And for you?”
“I’ll do the Greek omelet.”
The waitress walks away, and I rub my arm, thinking about how I should have gotten something healthier.
“How long have you wanted this?” I say softly, taking a big gulp of water and looking down at the table.
“The last two years,” he says.
My mouth opens in surprise. “But you’ve been with James and Ezra.”
“Just James, and I didn’t want to feel this way.” I nod my head; of course he didn’t. I rip up the straw rapper and make tiny little balls on the table. Ian’s hand grabs mine, and I look up at him. “Only because you’re younger and my stepsister. It would have been better for you if you found a pack that didn’t have so much baggage.”
I blink at him a few times. “I’ve always been in love with you, you know?” It’s Ian’s turn to be shocked as he looks at me with a softness I don’t think I’ve ever seen from him.
“What?”
I shake my head and go back to my straw paper. “You were the first person who ever thought about me and took care of me. So I always put you on this unobtainable pedestal. No one would ever compare, and they haven’t. But it was only supposed to be a fantasy. I tried to shut it down when you brought James and Ezra over for the first time, but it only got harder. James is beautiful, and I knew I didn’t stand a chance, but I’ve never stopped wanting.”
He squeezes my wrist, and I look up at him. “James is beautiful, and Ezra is kind, but our pack dynamic is far from perfect.”
