“What about you?”
“Mmm, not sure. I think I’ll need the pumpkin to speak to me first.”
Anders, decisive as ever, picks out his pumpkin immediately and holds it under his arm. He holds Hank’s leash as Eli and I look around. Eli picks the most hideous warty pumpkin with green splotches, and I finally settle on a mammoth of a pumpkin, in which I make Eli carry.
“You just don’t do small do you, Char baby?” Eli says, and I grin.
I think about the two large men in front of me.
Eli taps the farmer, who drives the tractor on the shoulder. “Would you mind taking a picture of us?” The farmer nods and holds Eli’s phone. He puts my giant pumpkin on the ground. Eli’s arm is around my shoulders, and Anders is around my waist as Hank sits at our feet. The moment feels profound and sweet.
But like always, there’s a deep-rooted negative feeling in the back of my head about how a man with dark eyes, a bad attitude, and a campfire scent should be in the photo too.
It’s a mess of pumpkin guts and seeds all over the kitchen counter by the time we’re done. Eli carves a surprisingly on point fox into his pumpkin, and Anders does a spider. I carved mine to have a giant face and put Ander’s pumpkin inside of its mouth.
“Hope you weren’t planning on bringing your pumpkin home,” I tell him.
“I’ll just have to visit it here.”
I smirk at him as I toss the pumpkin remains in the trash and wash my hands.
The front door slams, and I turn around to Piper waving the disturbing pink-colored envelope.
“The daily depression mail has arrived. Are you going to open it this time?” she asks, not taking the time to realize we have guests. As soon as she looks up and sees Eli and Anders, her cheeks flush, and she hides the pink envelope under the mail.
“You can just put it on the table, and no.”
I have a week’s worth of pink envelopes. All addressed to me from Mikael. I know that I should probably open them and see what he has to say. But I’m feeling petty and pissed.
Anders and Eli both act like they are busy searching for pumpkin seeds on the table. That’s when I get suspicious. “Did you know he’s been writing letters?” I ask them.
“He might have said something,” Eli says.
“Did he mention what I read?”
“Not specifics,” Eli says.
“Mmm. Well, I’m not sure a simple letter is good enough.”
Neither of the guys says anything, and I’m glad. I feel bad that they are constantly in the middle, it’s not fair to them.
Piper gives me a look from the corner of the room, and I already know what she wants to say. She doesn’t have to vocalize it, she already has. She scolded me for stealing what was clearly Mikael’s private journal and taking things he said while he was upset to heart. She also mentioned over and over how letters were always our thing, and to give him a chance. Maybe if I read it, I would feel better.
I will give Mikael credit. He has been sending one every day. Perhaps I’m the chicken shit for not finding the courage to open it just yet. He may have also sent some text messages that I have left unread. I’m not sure why the idea of getting under his skin gives me a high. Maybe it’s because he is a permanent resident under mine.
“Well, I won’t bother you. I was just stopping by to eat and grab some of my study guides before heading to the library,” Piper says, and I nod.
“We have pizza coming if you’d like to stay. Should be here soon,” Anders says.
Piper groans and nods her head. “That sounds amazing, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” Anders says confidently. It’s clear that his respect for Piper is pretty high, as it should be. She picked me off the floor and didn’t let me spiral too hard, even with everything on her plate. If it weren’t for Piper, we probably wouldn’t all be in this kitchen right now. I don’t even want to think about where I would be without her.
“Oh, Charles, can you help me with something?” Piper says as she walks to her room. I sigh and follow her as she shuts the door behind me.
“You better fuck their brains out tonight.”
I blink rapidly at Piper. She looks tired, and I know she’s been studying and working so hard. I wish I could do more. But this is definitely not what I thought she would be pulling me into her room to discuss.
