“It was never a question of if, just when. If I would have known things were so bad, I would have tried sooner. We haven’t been the same without you.”
He wipes away a rogue tear from my face, and I look at him. This beautiful man doesn’t blame me for my behavior, rational or not, who also seems to be grieving after knowing what happened to my mom.
“Does your mom hate me now?” I ask in a soft voice. While I might not have spoken to Eevi as much as Anders talked to my mom, I was excited to meet her in person and have another Omega to relate to.
Anders scoffs and shakes his head. “I got an earful of what idiots we were for going to Vegas in the first place and how not giving you any assurances probably upset your Omega nature.”
I let out a puff of breath. At least I have someone I can take off of my apology tour. I thank all the stars in the sky that Anders has an Omega mother, and he seems to get it more than anybody. His thumbs rub gentle circles under my cheekbones, and I breathe in his scent and groan. Falling for Anders was so easy, and when I look deep into myself, my love for them hasn’t changed. Even if we never said the words, even though we didn’t bond, Anders Larsen owns a piece of my soul and always has. Even when I was a shell of a person, it was his, but now looking at him, I know there’s no running away.
“Kiss me,” I say softly, and he doesn’t hesitate, crashing his lips against mine. The kiss is just as I remember. It’s passionate and explorative, but possessive all the same. Anders’ full lips feel plush and so right against mine. I take his beanie off and lace my fingers in his hair. I missed the texture and the softness.
“I missed you,Kulta,” he says, breaking away from the kiss and touching my face so delicately, like I might disappear. I need this, a moment of reprieve from all of this emotional heaviness. I just want to feel good and free and be with someone I know I can trust.
“I promise I’m not going anywhere.” And I mean it. Not being with them just brought me more hurt than anything. Having their scents again, their touches, it’s everything. Maybe we needed this time to realize what we all had. Maybe I needed this time to come to this conclusion. No, I’m not magically okay, but being with them is making it better. “Can you stay the night?” Anders nods his head and stands up, picking me up in his arms, and I instinctively lock my legs around him. My ankles meet right above his perfect ass.
My hands are in his hair again as he holds my thighs and carries me to the bedroom. I don’t know how I forgot how easy being with Anders is. It’s like muscle memory being together again. He places me on the bed gently before tearing off his hoodie and shirt. He leaves the sweatpants on. Somehow his chest is even more toned than I remember. It sends a pang of a reminder about my own body, and I suddenly feel self-conscious.
Not only am I not the same girl mentally they were with before, but I’ve gained some weight since we were last together. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my body. If anything, my boobs are bigger and my stomach isn’t as flat, but I like how I look. I just don’t know how they will feel about it. The fact is, I’m a different Charlotte altogether, and I can’t help but feel insecure that they might not like what they see. I put the blanket over me, and Anders furrows his brows.
“What’s wrong?”
“I… I just don’t look like I used to,” I say.
“You look pretty fucking good to me.” His hand is on my hip as he drags my body closer to his. His thumb digs into the skin of my hip. “Always so soft and sweet,Kulta.” He leans forward, and my hands land on his chest as he takes a deep inhale at my collarbone. “Do you know how many times I’ve touched myself thinking about you? How sexy, beautiful, and perfect to me you are. Don’t ever hide yourself from me.”
“Okay,” I say breathlessly as Anders licks a trail from my shoulder to that delicious spot behind my ear. It’s the first in a long time I’ve actually felt turned on. My perfume fills the room, and Anders groans. It’s at that moment I panic.
Chapter thirty-six
Charlottefeelssofuckinggood under my hands. I don’t know what she’s nervous about. She looks fucking unreal. My fantasies didn’t do her justice. Her tits are bigger, and I want to suck on them for hours, and her hips are softer than I remember. I want to spend all night showing her how much I missed her, how much nothing has changed for me, and how sorry I am for not being the Alpha she deserved.
Somehow this all got fucked up and twisted, but we’re all in the process of correcting our wrongs. I know myKulta, my sweet Omega, is not alright. It’s clear in the way she speaks and reacts. She’s still grieving and working through a lot of things, and I need to be that person she can depend on.
I didn’t know how she would take the gift I got her, if she would feel like I intruded on her grief. But I wanted to do something to show her that I care and, more than anything, grieve for Kathy too. If I would have known the whole story, I would have dropped everything to be with her. The fact that she was alone in what was the hardest time of her life weighs heavily on me. I should have been there for her, instead I disappointed her, I disappointed Kathy. She trusted us with her daughter, the most precious thing in her life, and we fucked up. As soon as Charlotte dropped the bombshell on me, I made a vow to myself to make up for my indiscretions, and I don’t want a single day to go by where Charlotte feels alone or hurt. I will make it right.
She’s mine, and I’m willing to do everything and anything to prove to her we can be the Alphas she needs and deserves. Of course, it’s proving difficult with Mikael, but I didn’t expect anything less. He took Charlotte leaving harder than all of us, and he’s a stubborn asshole. He also doesn’t have the same value of family like Charlotte and I do, so there’s no way he understands how heavy this pain is. But I plan on making him see it clearly, how we’re the Alphas. If Charlotte feels betrayed or like she’s not being put first, that’s on us, not Charlotte.
I know for a fact though, if he was holding Charlotte like I am now, he would give in right away. Her maple and fresh pancake scent fills the room. It makes my cock hard, and I groan.
After I’m done telling her how much I missed her body, she sighs and says, “Okay.” But I can see the panic in her eyes, like I would lie to her about how attractive she is. Tonight has been emotional, and I can tell we’re both going through the motions of working through pain. As badly as every nerve ending inside of me is craving her scent and touch, I’m fine just being here with her. I want to give her whatever she needs.
“We don’t have to do anything, Charlotte. I’m just happy to be able to hold and kiss you again.”
Her expression softens, and she smiles. “Can we take it slow?”
I nod and bring my lips back to her neck, tasting her skin and a getting direct hit of her scent. “My Omega can have whatever she wants.”
“I’m still yours?” she asks unsure.
“You never stopped being mine, and I never stopped being yours.”
Her cheeks are pink as I lift my head and look up at her. “I wouldn’t blame you all if there was someone else when I left.”
I pull back and glare at her. “There was no one for any of us. You never stopped being ours. I don’t want anyone else. None of us do.” It’s not a lie. Mikael might try to act like he doesn’t want this again, but he’s a fucking liar. He doesn’t look at other women, and hasn’t tried sleeping with anyone else. As usual, the stubborn asshole will realize he’s being an idiot, eventually.
“I, um...” She looks down at me. I’ve never seen Charlotte look so shy, especially when it comes to something physical. “I haven’t really done anything in a long time.”
I’m confused as I look down at her, and a growl rumbles in my throat, wondering if there was someone else for her. “No, not like that. I just haven’t even really been touching myself. This is the first time I’ve been turned on in a really long time.” Her voice is soft and shy, like she’s embarrassed. I can’t help the masculine pride that floods me at her confession. “The suppressants I was on really messed me up. I want to be me again,” she says, and I lean forward and kiss her tenderly. I want her to know that I want her in any shape or form, but above all, I want her happiness.
