I don’t let go of her though. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to have more time. She’s my mom. I take in her face that looks so much like mine, and I can barely see with my contacts and tears. “Mom, what am I gonna do?”
There’s a jarring metal noise, and I cover my ears.
“Miss, we need to get you out of the vehicle.”
I shake my head. “I can’t leave her. She needs me. She needs compressions or something.”
“The car is leaking fluid. It’s not safe for you to stay in the vehicle, and your right arm looks dislocated.”
“But she’s my mom.”
“I know. We’re going to take care of her. I just need you to trust me, okay?” The fireman holds out his hand through the passenger side door. I have to climb over my mom. I kiss her cheek one last time before the firefighter scoops me up into his arms and puts me into the back of the ambulance.
As I look back at the car, I notice they aren’t getting my mom a defibrillator or a standard stretcher. They’re bringing out a body bag. I can’t really gather my thoughts as I see that. I should have called an ambulance from the beginning. I should have been paying better attention as I was driving. This feels like my fault.
“We’re going to give you some Dilaudid for the pain and to help calm you down. We’ve got you.”
They’re hooking me up to IVs and taking my vitals as I stare at the obtrusively bright ceiling. I don’t remember the ride to the hospital or the hours that follow. I feel numb. I don’t know if it’s the drugs, my brain helping me handle this trauma, or just me.
At this moment, I wish I could just sleep. I want to sleep and wake up to have this all be a horrible dream.
“Sweetheart, is there anyone we can call for you?”
“My Alphas,” I say on a sob.
They nod, and the paramedic hands them my bag. I give them the names, and the calls go to voicemail. I’m hurt, but I know they are at the draft. More than likely, they don’t have their phones with them. “Can you call my best friend, Piper?”
Piper answers on the first ring, and I sob uncontrollably. One of the EMTs explains the situation, and Piper agrees to meet us at the hospital.
I know that Piper is here in the room as my eyes start to close. “We gave her something to sedate her. We’ve stitched up her face and relocated her shoulder. Her elbow is sprained. Does she have a good network to help her get through this?”
“She has me,” Piper says.
“I would suggest therapy and going to high grade suppressants. With her blood work, I would suspect she’s only a month or two away from her next heat. High grade suppressants can have some negative effects, but it would postpone her heat.”
“What are the effects?”
“Depression, no libido, there can be weight gain, and headaches.”
I groan and turn to lie on my good side. I don’t care what they give me, I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.
“Yes, let’s start her on the suppressants.”
“I need confirmation from Miss Hodges since she no longer has a next of kin.” Piper scoffs, and I groan.
“Whatever she says.”
“Alright. I’ll have the nurse come in shortly.”
“Thank you,” Piper says before coming behind me on the hospital bed and cuddling me from behind.
“Have they called back yet?” I ask.
“Just get some rest, Charles,” she says as she pets my hair and back. Just like my mom used to. I fall asleep in pain and with a tear-streaked face.
Piper checked me out of the hospital, and we’re at my house. Hank is whining, his giant head on my lap. I feel so disassociated as I look around the living room, knowing she’ll never sit on the couch with me again, or cook another dinner in her kitchen.
“Have they called back yet?” I ask Piper.
