She takes in a shocked gasp. “Your sister is right, you’re an idiot. You’re my bonded and I love you, Smith. You only did what you did because you love me. If you don’t stop with this self-deprecating bullshit, I won’t take advantage of everything we’re able to do during a bond visit,” she tells me, pushing my shoulder.
“I owe Tire a honeybun,” I tell her.
“Who is Tire?”
“My cellmate, he told me you wouldn’t be mad and that I could expect a bond visit within three days.”
“Well, Tire sounds like a wise man,” she says, cupping my jaw again, and I grab her by the waist. Placing my head against her chest, her hands move to run through my hair.
I grab her tighter, making sure this is real. “I’m sorry for scaring you,” I tell her.
“I’ve been so worried, Smith.”
“How can I make it better?”
“Kiss it better,” she says as she kisses the top of my head. I stand from my chair and look down at her.
“I think I can do that.”
Chapter 24
KelseyandDompreparedme for how Smith might be feeling when I came to visit. I could feel his pain, guilt, and sadness down the bond, and I’m ready to take that all away.
Kelsey made me a bulletin board that’s titled ‘get my stupid fucking brother out of jail’ where we have pinned everything important to his case. It shouldn’t be as funny as it is.
I’m thankful I’ve had Liv and Kelsey around to keep things lighthearted. Dean’s dad has also been amazing and has reassured me that he should be out of here in no time. Though, this small time away from him has been painful. I can feel everything from him and it’s hard to stomach.
Am I happy about how badly he beat up Garth? No. Was it satisfying as fuck? Yeah, it really was.
I’ve seen Smith angry with people before, the guy with my picture and Young Memphis. Smith always knows when to pull back, he never lets it get too far. But what Garth and Franklin did was so deeply hurtful, the way my bonded reacted in my honor isn’t surprising. Smith watched me heal myself after their hurt, he knows how deeply they affected me. Whatever he walked in on in that room broke his resolve, and I can’t be mad at him. If he wouldn’t have thrown me in the car when we ran into Hannah, I would have punched her in the face, and we weren’t even bonded then.
He seemed so fragile when I stood next to him and I kissed his hair. I know he can feel my sincerity and love for him through the bond. I can’t believe he even doubted me, that I wouldn’t want him anymore. Kelsey assured me that it wasn’t me he was doubting. It’s built up from years of believing that he was not enough. I’ve worked hard to not take it personally and put my effort in assuring Smith that I love him and I understand where he was coming from in his actions.
His green eyes are pleading and needy as he looks at me. Like he truly just wants to be able to kiss me and make every little hurt go away.
“I don’t want them to see you,” Smith says. As he holds my waist, I look at his tired face, dark circles under his eyes. He’s been so sleep-deprived and it makes me feel guilty. If only we had one more day together before everything happened, if he’d been more well rested. Or if he hadn’t been alone when he heard Garth confess. But I know thinking about what could have happened isn’t helpful. We need to be present in this moment. And what I need at this moment is to show Smith how much I still desire and love him. How he protected me beyond what anyone else in my life ever has.
“We had a moderator at Heat Haven,” I remind him.
“This is different. I’m in fucking jail.”
“Mmm, is that supposed to be a deterrent?”
“Cami,” he growls.
“Sit back down,” I say. He arches his brow but follows my direction.
I grab the pillow from the janky bed in the corner and place it between his legs. Keeping eye contact with him, I slowly get down on my knees.
“Baby, no. You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” I tell him honestly. “You don’t want them to see me?” He shakes his head no and I tug on the waistband of his gray sweatpants. He grumbles but lifts himself enough that I’m able to take out his cock.
“I’ve missed you so much. I need you back in my bed.” I need to shut up before I get choked up from crying and not sucking his dick.
“Hey,” he says as I look down, tilting my chin. “I’m getting the fuck out of here and coming home with you as long as you’ll have me.”
“That’s all I want. Never doubt us again, okay?”
