“Whatever you need, I’m here,” I tell her sincerely.
“Thanks, Smith.” She smiles at me as she clutches her tub of candy like it’s a lifeline. “Oh my god, I completely forgot!” she nearly shouts. “Is Liv okay?
“Yeah, they are home and safe at her nest. I gave Grayson your number. She’ll reach out when she can.”
“Okay, good.”
She just got some of the worst news you can imagine and she is worried about another Omega. It’s like her heart is bleeding all over the backseat of this SUV. I wish I could tell her to put herself first. To stop worrying about everyone else. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she takes better care of herself.
Chapter 8
Everythinghurts:mystomach,my head, my body. Tears roll down my face as I lie in the hotel bed. Little whimpers leave my throat. I feel sweaty and cold shivers rock through me as I struggle to wrap myself in as many blankets as possible to get enough warmth. I’ve never felt so sick in my life, never craved to be taken care of as desperately as I do now.
Feeling isolated and alone has never felt as heavy as it does at this moment. Am I just being stubborn? Is the doctor right and having a pack would make this all go away? I’ve never considered myself as someone who could take on that many partners. I’m independent and successful in my own right before anything else. If I had a pack, my career would be heavily impacted. I can’t dedicate myself to my passion and to multiple people. There just isn’t enough of me to share. I already share so much of myself with the world. I want something special, not something I’m forced into out of need.
In this moment of pain though, I think I would say fuck it if a pack of Alphas rolled into this bed to take care of me. I feel weak and needy and an overwhelming crippling feeling of inadequacy sends fresh tears to my eyes.
I want to crawl out of my skin and make this pain disappear. Or have someone ease the pain for me. I just want to be held and told that everything is going to be okay. Mainly I want to stop feeling so cold.
How long have I even been out? I pick up my phone and it’s 4 am… but which day? My eyes are so heavy, and I look down at my body, not even remembering when I got changed into this t-shirt and pair of sleep shorts.
The door creaks, and another whimper escapes me.
“Cami?” It’s Smith’s voice, and I sob uncontrollably. He comes and sits on the bed next to me and places his large hand on my forehead. It feels nice. Comforting. I lean into the touch slightly. “Cami, you’re burning up. What can I do?”
I groan and lean into him some more. His large body stills, and his breath catches.
“Do you…do you want me to hold you? It helped my sister when she was off suppressants.” This big man held his sister when she was in a similar situation as me?Fuck.
“Would you?”
“We’re friends, right?”
“Yeah, we’re friends,” I reply.Just fucking touch me.God, he smells so good. So masculine. He’s so big, I just want to be engulfed by his large body. I know he will keep me warm. “I’m so cold,” I whimper.
“C’mere,” Smith says in a husky voice. He’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, and I bury my nose into his chest. So warm, just like I predicted.
The tension alleviates slightly. The chills slowly leaving my body. My stomach gurgles over the fact that my body is calming down because I’m in the presence of an Alpha. His pheromones are wafting off him in waves, and I just want to drown in them. The moment of relaxation is infested with self-loathing in the back of my head. I shouldn’t need anyone to feel comfortable in my own skin. I shouldn’t need an Alpha’s touch and scent to center me.But here I am.
I can’t help it when my perfume overwhelms the bedroom. I can tell the moment Smith scents me as his body stiffens. If I didn’t hear him breathing, I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he wasn’t dead.
Smith clears his throat. “It’s all right, your body doesn’t know how to deal with not being on suppressants. I’ve got you.” His body relaxes slightly, but not enough, making me realize how uncomfortable this moment is for him. I wish I could be the bigger person. Tell him I don’t want him to feel like he needs to help me. At this moment, I’m boiled down to my needy Omega nature, and I’m going to take what I need.
“You’re a good friend,” I mumble into his chest.
He laughs, and it’s deep and delicious. “Don’t think I’ve heard that one before.”
I furrow my brows but nestle closer to him. He stills and readjusts his body so I’m leaning closer to his hip. “If this is uncomfortable for you, Smith, we can stop. I’ll be all right.”Please, for all that is holy, don’t leave me here alone.
“We’re just lying next to each other. It’s not a big deal,” he replies.
It is a big deal, it’s the biggest deal. His large perfect body pressed against mine and his pheromones driving me crazy. He protects me and makes me feel heard, but it’s clear to me—I’m just a client. He’s doing what he needs to do to keep me safe. Part of keeping me safe now is making sure I don’t turn into a mush of Omega goo and start licking every Alpha I meet on the street. This means nothing to him, and why would it? He literally just mentioned doing this for his sister when she was going through a hard time.
You’re not special, Cami, but you can enjoy this moment.Which I do. I rub my face into his sweatshirt and inhale him deeply until I’m content enough to fall asleep.
What a nice dream, being cocooned in warmth and sandalwood. I rub my face on the source of the warmth one more time until the body under me goes dead still. I blink open my eyes and see Smith staring down at me.
I clear my throat and sit up, wrapping my arms around my knees. “Thanks for last night. I wasn’t doing too great.”
