He really does know me well. “Yes. She’s perfect. I’m taking her, and we’ll leave, but I need to know we won’t be followed. What’s being said about the Morozovs around our circles?” Cameron doesn’t belong to any of the crime families. He’s an extremely talented tattoo artist and remains strictly neutral. He’s probably inked half of the local underworld. The important half, too. His position makes him the best source of gossip in the area, but he’s known to be tight-lipped, so people don’t have any issues talking to him.
I step back from the widening pool of blood because I don’t want it to get on my shoes. They’re nice shoes.
Cameron hums thoughtfully. “Well, the word is that someone took out the Morozovs, obviously. Most people guess it was the Italians or Brazilians because they also deal in the flesh trade, but everyone is too busy fighting for scraps to really care who did it. Your name was never even mentioned, just that the Doll trainer died in the mansion. How did you manage that, by the way?”
“I swapped the dental records with one of the enforcers. Then I knocked everyone out, locked the place down, and set it on fire.”
Cameron whistles. “Fuck, dude, remind me never to get on your bad side. You’re one mad motherfucker. And all that for a Doll. They must be special.”
There’s a wistful note in Cameron’s voice, and I can’t help but feel bad for my friend. “She is. You still haven’t found a new pet?”
“I haven’t been looking. After that last one… I don’t want to go through training someone and getting used to them just to lose them again. Having to put them down sucks.”
Having been the one to “put down” quite a few of Cameron’s pets, I agree, but once they’re broken and withdrawn, they’re no fun to have around. It’s odd they keep breaking, because Cameron isn’t really a sadist; he doesn’t hurt them that much. I put Grace through much worse stuff, and she still smiled at me afterwards. Cam needs someone like her, someone who will truly appreciate serving their Master, but I’m not in a position to go people-hunting right now. I promise myself to keep my eyes open, though. Cameron’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and he deserves to be happy. “I’m sorry, man. I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.”
Cameron snorts. “Pfft. Look at you, all optimistic. Is this Doll of yours a miracle worker? Because no offense, Mikhail, but you’re like the most pessimistic person I know. Or you used to be, anyway.”
“Yeah, being in love changes you. I’m all zen now.”
He bursts out laughing at my faux-sage tone. “You’re so full of shit. So, you’re leaving?” He masks it well, but I’ve known him since elementary school, and I can hear the sadness in his voice.
“Yeah, but once things die down, you can come and visit. I’ll need a cover-up for my forearm.” I smirk as I look at the writing on my skin.Dolls are not for you.Yeah, it will need to be coveredup because it’s all bullshit. “I’ll let you know. Just keep your ears open, please, and if you hear any rumors about me—”
“I’ll let you know, don’t worry. Take care, Mike.”
I grimace at that. He knows how much I hate that nickname but still uses it to tease me endlessly, the fucker. I suppose that’s what friends are for. “You too, camboy,” I throw back at him, laughing as he sputters. “Stay safe, asshole. I’ll call.” With that, I end the call, lest I start getting all sappy about missing my best friend. I’m a grown man, after all. It’s bad enough that I’m a sappy idiot when it comes to Grace, but when it’s a romantic partner, I guess some sappiness is warranted. When it comes to my best friend, it absolutely isn’t. Even if it’s a best friend I hooked up with once upon a time. It didn’t work out because we’re both dominant as fuck, and we were happy to go back to just being friends.
I really will have to find someone for Cameron, though. I know how much he hates being alone, and knowing he’s sad puts a damper on my own happiness. Or perhaps it’s just being away from my Doll for so long. Going back to masturbating after being buried deep inside Grace’s cunt sucks, and not in the fun way. I’m itching to hurt her, to hear those lovely cries and whimpers, to lick her tears and then her pussy, to have those two flavors mixing on our tongues as I kiss her.
Great, now I’ve gotten myself hard. I contemplate jerking off right now, but leaving genetic material on a dead body probably wouldn’t be smart, so I just press the heel of my palm into my aching erection, shifting it in my pants to a slightly more comfortable position where it doesn’t brush against the zipper so much. In hindsight, I should have worn underwear, but I’m so used to walking around my apartment in nothing but sweatpants that it didn’t even occur to me.
Looking around to make sure I didn’t leave anything other than the body behind, I exit through the back door and slipthrough the small patch of trees separating the house from the next road. I’ve already checked there are no cameras here, so once I’m sure no one’s around, I walk down the street looking like I don’t have a worry in the world. Well, except for the hard-on that won’t quit. Fuck, I need to retrieve my Doll as soon as possible. Fortunately, I’ve kept track of her and know exactly where to find her. Tonight, we will finally be together again. I can’t wait.
Chapter 37
Grace
Can a person vanish into thin air? Become so disconnected from everything that one day they just go poof and disappear? That’s how I feel now. Disconnected. Untethered. Reality doesn’t feel real, and I idly wonder if I’ve gone crazy. Forced back into my old life, I’m beginning to wonder if I hallucinated the past two weeks. If I wasn’t really just sick, like my parents told everyone.
I feel like I should be crying or screaming. Just… something. Anything. Anything other than smiling and pretending nothing happened, because something did and I don’t know how to deal with it. Not that I’m given any space for it. My parents are pushing me to catch up on the classes I missed while I was “sick”,and while I try to be the good daughter I’m supposed to be, the words I read make even less sense than usual.
The few acquaintances I’ve made on campus nod at me and say something about the flu being bad this year, and I nod back and smile. Always smile, even though I want to scream and scream. Or cry. Dammit, I’d take being spanked within an inch of my life if it meant the terrifying emptiness would disappear for a while. Pain would help, I’m sure, but I’m too cowardly to do anything about it myself. It should be easy. Teens do it all the time, don’t they? Just take a knife andfeelsomething for a few minutes. Even a few seconds would be worth it, but I’m too much of a coward. Too much of a good girl, and not in the way Mikhail meant it.
Mikhail.
I bite back a whimper as I think about him. He’s not coming back. It’s been days, and he hasn’t come, which means he isn’t coming. The police even hinted at everyone in the trafficking ring being dead, but that can’t be true, can it? Mikhail can’t be dead. Even if he doesn’t want me anymore, even if I’m destined to flounder through this dreary existence alone forever, I don’t wish him dead. Never. The world needs wonderful people like Mikhail.
No, he isn’t dead. He’s probably immortal, like someone out of a superhero movie. He’s somewhere out there, living his life and training Dolls, not thinking about one silly girl he rescued. The thought of Mikhail with someone else hurts, but he deserves it. He hates being alone and needs a Doll to play with and pamper, someone to give him their tears and smiles. I shouldn’t be bitter that it isn’t me. After all, he saved me. I’m certain it was him who tipped the police off to where I was being held. He cared about me to do at least that. I should be happy for him.
I’m not happy. I’m empty, so empty I wonder how I’m not floating away as the cold evening breeze hits me. I’m not wearinga jacket, but it doesn’t matter because cold doesn’t really bother me. I’m supposed to head home. Straight home after class, no more living on the campus. I guess I should be grateful my father isn’t picking me up like I’m in elementary school. The bus stop is a few hundred yards away from the building I just left, the path well lit and frequented. Safe. No one’s going to snatch me, drag me into a basement, and torture the living hell out of me.
It sucks.
I veer off the main path, blindly heading deeper into the campus. It’s darker here, but there are still too many people around. I choose the darkest paths and alleys to wander through, hoping for…what exactly? Another kidnapping? It’s stupid, but I realize it’s exactly what I wish for. I need something to tear me out of this supposedly real life I can’t live anymore but can’t escape on my own. I need someone to take over and tell me what to do. To yell at me for wandering out here in the dark while my teeth chatter and tears stream down my face.
Then I hear music. Laughter. Following the sounds, I find myself among a throng of people holding red paper cups with beer, though the one that splashes on me smells like it contains something stronger. The crowd is congregated around the house from which the music is coming. A frat party? I’ve never been to one before. In fact, they were first on the “never” list my parents gave me when I moved onto campus. Focus on your studies. Never go to parties. You never know what might happen there, who might take advantage of you.
Well, I’ve never been to a party, and I was taken advantage of anyway, so it’s only fair that I go to one now, is it not? And if someone’s there to take advantage of me, well… At least I would feel something. I wanted pain, didn’t I? Could I just go there and ask someone to hurt me? It sounds crazy, but half of these people are a little drunk and the other half completely wasted.Surely I can find someone willing to spank my ass while fucking me.
