I was with his son for years, his son who’s still stalking me like I owe him something. And not only that, but I technically gave birth to my ex’s half-siblings. And there’shisex to factor into the equation too, along with everything else. Even on paper, it’s too big for me to take on, and I know it would be better to turn our arrangement back to one that’s entirely practical.
But then…but then, I’ve found myself tossing and turning at night, as restless as the twins as I remember the warmth of his arms around me as he slept. How good it felt to have someone there at my side, someone who was willing to take care of me and stand up for me. Someone who, without a second thought, went to the door to confront the man who had been terrorizing me for so long.
Even though it turned out to be his son, Martin still scared him off, and Thom hasn’t dared show his face around here since.
The night before it all fell apart, when I called him for help and he came to me in an instant, that’s the part I can’t shake. I have never felt the way I did when he was there with me that evening, sitting on the couch, listening to me, his eyes filled with genuine care and protectiveness. I’ve done so much of this life on my own, no family, nobody to turn to, and he came and showed me what it felt like to have someone there who was willing to do everything he could to support me.
And now, he’s taken all that away just as quickly as he gave it to me, and all I can feel in its place is the ache of knowing I nearly had what I’ve wanted for so long.
I’ve been going through the motions, taking care of the twins, waiting for Sofia to get back—I had resolved to tell her everything as soon as I got the chance, just glad to get it off my chest and save myself the stress of shouldering all of this alone. But the way she’s looking at me right now, I’m not sure if I’ve exactly pulled that off.
“Look, we all make mistakes,” she assures me, as she reaches out to give my hand a squeeze. “Granted, this is…a pretty complex one, but it happens. You don’t have to beat yourself up over it. You have these two perfect little babies to show for it at least, right? That has to count for something.”
I drop a kiss on Matty’s head, and she looks up at me, her little chubby cheeks so unbearably sweet I almost can’t take it. I manage a smile.
“Yeah,” I agree. “It does.”
“And everything you’ve told me about this guy, he seems…decent,” she continues. “You said he sent you some money for the twins?”
“He dropped a few thousand into my account yesterday,” I reply. “Don’t know if it’s more hush money than anything else, though…”
“Whatever it is, take it,” she replies firmly. “You know as well as I do how hard it can be without the money you need. I don’t care where you got it from, as long as you use it to make their lives better, okay?”
“You make one hell of an aunt, Sofia,” I manage to joke, and she grins, holding Ross’s hands lightly.
“Yeah, well, someone has to stand up for them,” she shoots back playfully. “So, you’ve got the money, and you just need to deal with Thom now, right?”
“I guess so…”
“Does the building have CCTV that you know of?”
I frown. “I don’t know,” I reply. “I didn’t reach out to the landlord after the notes I found, I just figured that he wouldn’t have anything I could use.”
“Get in touch with him,” Sofia urges me. “And see if there’s anything he has that you could make use of. If you can prove that Thom has been coming by over and over again, you can take that to the cops and they won’t be able to turn you away. You already filed that report, right?”
“Yeah, but?—”
“But nothing,” she tells me, kindly but firmly. “Don’t let him scare you into keeping your mouth shut, that’s what he’s counting on.”
She glances down at the twins for a moment, her face softening. “You can’t let him just go around out there with nobody standing against him,” she adds. “Think about when the twins grow up—you can’t allow people like that to just be roaming the streets, right?”
I feel a surge of certainty at the sound of those words. She’s right, of course. The thought of Matty growing up and one day down the line encountering someone like Thom, it’s enough to make me sick. I might not be able to fix everything, but at the very least, I can go some way to showing Thom and the men like himthat they can’t just get away with doing whatever they want, no repercussions to worry about.
“You’re right,” I agree. “Thanks, Sofia. I just…”
God, I don’t know how to begin to sift through the mess of emotions running through my mind right now. Deep down, I wish Martin could be here with me—he knows how to make me feel better, even when I’m beating myself up as brutally as I am now.
But at the same time, I know that he’s too good a man to come back after everything that’s happened. The age gap was big enough as it was, but then to find out that I’m the same age as his child, and not only that, but I used to date him…
“Stop torturing yourself about this,” Sofia tells me, nudging me with her foot to pull me out of my head. “I can tell when you’re overthinking.”
I look up at her, beyond grateful that she’s willing to hear me through on everything. I felt like I was going crazy before she got back, and having someone to talk to about all of this is a relief.
“Agreed,” I reply, and I glance to the kitchen. “You want to have some dinner? Maybe order some takeout?”
“That sounds great,” she agrees. “Or maybe we could pick up something on the way back from the police station after we’ve told them everything that Thom’s been up to?”
She raises her eyebrows at me, and I know there’s no point in arguing with her. When she has an idea in her head, I have as much chance of getting it out as I do of turning day to night.
