“Never mind.”
Since I was not to mind the monkey’s wrench, I reached out for the phone again. “May I use your device?”
Timber narrowed her eyes in suspicion and moved it away from me. “Why do you want it?”
“It can access your planet’s data stores, correct?”
“Huh? You mean the internet?”
I nodded. “Yes. I wish to peruse the web of data.”
“You’re not gonna try to look up porn—mating programs—are you? Because we can’t waste the limited minutes I have on this thing for something like that. We need to keep at least some time on the phone in case of an emergency.”
Timber’s distrust offended me. There were other uses for the internet than pornography, and I had a valid reason for wanting to search it.
“I want to look at schools. In Chicago.”
Her jaw dropped open, and she lost her grip on the phone. I bent to retrieve it as it bounced on the carpeted floor.
“Y-you want to look at … colleges?”
I nodded, handing her the phone as a show of good faith. “Yes. In your city. I do not want to be away from you for long, so I will find a school near where you live. I will get one of these degrees you spoke of, and I will find employment. Then I can help provide.”
“Provide …?”
I sighed and stroked her cheek. Perhaps my nanites were not functioning properly. My words must not have conveyed what I was trying to convey. Poor Timber hadn’t a clue what I was talking about.
“Yes. I don’t mind if you wish to continue working for the police department, but I would like to contribute. I support you in your career, but I would like to support you financially as well. From what you have told me, I must first have proper schooling here on Earth before I can find employment that would be of use. So, I wish to find a school to attend near your home. I want to learn how to work in an Earth job, how to help earn wages to keep us fed and sheltered. If you desire a family, I want to help provide for our children—if our species are genetically compatible, that is. If not, or if you do not wish for children, then I will let you decide how to spend my wages.”
She put a hand on my chest, stopping my speech. “If, and I do meanif, you get through college and get a job here on Earth, your money would be yours to spend. I can’t decide how you spend the money you make.”
“You do not think I could complete Earth college?”
Timber shook her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. Your contact back on Xalan, Killaria, said it would be difficult to get your dad’s permission. I just meant that he might not allow you to stay here on Earth. I have no doubts that you’re certainly smart enough to earn a degree in whatever field you’d want, but there’s still that hurdle to overcome. All the intelligence in the universe won’t be enough if he orders you to go back to Xalan.”
My hope and resolve faded as her words sank in. Even here, thousands of lightyears away from my parents, it seemed I was bound to their whims.
“Besides all that,” she continued, “there’s the whole AXL thing to consider. If you attend anything other than onlineclasses, they’ll find you in a heartbeat. I can’t watch you all the time. You wouldn’t be safe on a campus, in public.”
With my dreams sufficiently shattered, I sat on the edge of the bed, defeated.
“Then it is hopeless.”
The lines of Timber’s face softened, and she sat next to me. “I didn’t say that. I’m sure there are online programs out there. We just have to find one that works for you. I mean, you said you were an engineer of sorts on Xalan, right? So, we’ll find an online engineering program. Then, once you’ve gotten your degree, we can try to find you a place of employment that has virtual options for work.” She patted my knee. “Don’t lose hope. Just … be a bit more practical about it.”
All this talk of online learning and virtual employment, while giving me more options, made me feel more of an outcast than I had since arriving on Earth. Was it truly not safe for those of my kind to live here? Was AXL a large enough organization to prevent me from living among the humans as I wished to?
I could never ask Timber to leave her life here for my sake, but could I live a life of solitude such as she spoke of, a life devoid of social interaction?
Chapter 15
Timber
Well, I felt like an absolute jerk. N’kal had been sulking ever since I pointed out the reality of being an alien trying to live among humans.
I wasn’t actively trying to stomp on his dreams, but I couldn’t in good conscience let him continue to fantasize about living with me if I didn’t also point out the harsh truths. Xalanites were not universally loved and trusted on Earth, and if I gave him the impression that they were, I’d just be putting him at risk for not only future heartache but also inevitable danger.
Then there was the matter of the other bomb he dropped during that conversation, the one that made my heart seize and my head swim:
