Though I had never experienced love for myself, I understood the enormity of it. This man who died was special to Timber in a way that no one else could be, and to lose someone like that so violently must have been traumatic. It was no wonder her mind had broken a little after she lost him. It was no wonder her mind was still broken.
“Do you wish me to leave you to your grief?” I asked. I was unsure of the human customs in this situation, and while she seemed to appreciate my presence at that moment, I recalled that some humans preferred solitude in times of grief and distress.
“Please don’t go,” she said quietly, moving even closer. “Just hold me a little longer.”
Her touch both confused and excited me. I had wanted to mate with Timber since I first saw her, but she didn’t seem interested, even flat-out dismissing the notion. With her body pressed to mine, though, myn’rilresponded despite my efforts to control them. I bit down hard on my lip, hoping to distract myself with that small amount of pain. A low groan rumbled in my throat as her hips rubbed against mine. There was no way she didn’t feel myn’rilpressing into her.
“Timber …” I cleared my throat and shifted my hips away from her. “You are not acting yourself. You are distraught …”
She grabbed my waist and pulled me back towards her body. “I know. And you’re being very sweet not to ask me to mate rightnow, even though—ahem!—I can tell you really want to. I just need this right now. This closeness. Don’t back away just yet.”
I nodded my agreement and pressed my lips to the top of her head. She sighed again and nuzzled my chest with her cheek. Her delicate hand ran across my pectoral muscles and down my stomach, and I worried that she might try to initiate mating despite her words. I did not want to mate if she was not ready.
“The scales are cool. So textured, yet they’re small enough that they’re almost smooth. Kind of like snake scales. It’s kind of mesmerizing.”
“You do not mind that I am different?”
Her lips brushed against my skin with her words. “I like your differences. I never said that I don’t.”
“You have not acted like you do. You have been quite abrasive.”
“Yeah, well, last time I let myself get close, I ended up with nightmares. Abrasive is easier on the heart.”
“Perhaps,” I mused, still stroking her hair, “but perhaps the heart needs moments like this more than it needs ‘easy.’ Perhaps the heart needs more love, less distance. But what do I know? I only have two of them.”
Timber tilted her chin to look up at me, and I winked at her in the dim light peeking from around the curtains. To my relief, she smiled at the joke.
“Thanks for this.”
“Anytime.”
She once again nuzzled my chest until her lids fluttered closed and her breathing evened out. I pulled the disturbed blankets over the both of us and held her close through the rest of the night, though her nightmare did not seem to return.
***
“N’kal, get back in line!”
I snapped to attention as Timber grabbed my wrist andpulled me back into position in this “line” of humans. I noted that several other humans were standing out of formation, but she didn’t object to their actions. Only mine.
“I wanted to see what was ahead.”
She rubbed her temple and tugged at the hem of her skirt. I noted that she did that a lot since donning the garment, though I couldn’t figure why. Her legs looked quite fetching in it. They were not long like some of the actresses and models I had seen in human programming and advertisements, but there was something enticing about the lean muscles that flexed with each step.
“You can’t just cut in line. There’s, like, a societal taboo about that. You just stand in your place until it’s your turn. See those teenagers who just cut? I can guarantee that all the adults in line are now furious that their wait is gonna be longer because of that.”
“We have to wait longer?” I asked, craning my neck to try to see around the newcomers.
“Yeah. They’re going to get their tickets before us because they’re ahead in line.”
That indeed angered me. I stepped out of line to confront them. “I shall inform them of their error.”
Once again Timber pulled me back into the line. “No! You’re not going to ‘inform’ them of anything because they already know damn good and well what they did. They just don’t care.”
Despite our seemingly deep connection the night before, Timber had woken back in her usual foul mood. She clung to me for a few quiet, beautiful moments before getting up, taking a shower, and acting as though the nightmare had never happened. Disappointing for certain, and a bit confusing. I wondered if I would ever understand human behavior.
“Just be patient. We’ve got maybe another half hour in line before we’re inside. Chill.”
I scanned the crowd, soaking in as much as I could about human life and culture. I was surprised to find many different species represented in the throng, and I commented as much to Timber.
