While my mind races with plans and ideas, Hailey debates the few late-night snack options in the cafeteria. There are tons of sugary or starchy packaged snacks, but when it comes to hot food, grilled cheese or a hamburger is about it. Since my girl didn’t have much of a dinner—and neither did I—I get us each a burger and some fries. I almost forget Iris’s coffee in my hunger, but like a good boyfriend, I get her a small cup with a little packet of hazelnut creamer.
As a last-minute thought, I order one extra burger for Iris. She likely won’t get anything to eat until the breakfast cart rolls around, and I’m sure she’s starving, too.
Getting the food back to Iris’s room is a juggling act, since I don’t want to make Hailey carry the hot coffee, and the bag of food is too heavy for her to lug around that long. She walks alongside me while I navigate the surprisingly busy hospital halls with a full load, even being helpful by pushing the elevator buttons for me. She can’t reach the button for Iris’s floor, but I manage to tap it with a knuckle without spilling anything in the process.
Devlin walks out of Iris’s room just as we’re getting back. He smiles and waves me in. “Catheter’s out. She’s been anxiously awaiting your return.”
“Thanks,” I say as Hailey shoots past me into the room. “Hailey! Don’t jump on Miss Iris!”
“Cute kid.” The nurse chuckles. “I bet she’s excited to be a big sister. How long have you guys been married?”
“Oh! We’re—we’re not …” Shit. What do I say to that? Did Iris tell the hospital I was her husband when she was admitted? Where did he get that idea?
As if on cue, he checks his tablet again. “Oh, my bad. I should check the forms before I put my foot in it. She listed you as an approved contact but not as her husband. Sorry, dude. I guess I just saw you two together and assumed.”
Some of my excitement at the news deflates. I should have known Iris wouldn’t list me as her husband, even with a mild concussion. The nurse just saw a concerned couple who had one kid with them and another on the way and drew the wrong conclusion. That’s all it was. “It’s okay. Happens. These days, it’s hard to tell. Mixed families and all that.”
“Well, I have to continue my rounds. Press the call button if you guys need anything.”
When I get in Iris’s room, Hailey sits perched on the edge of Iris’s hospital bed. From the looks of it, she’s trying not to do anything to hurt Iris. Her hands are folded in her lap, and she’s positioned herself so she’s not actually touching her.
“—And Daddy gotted us all burgers and fries.”
“Even me?” Iris asks with a wink.
“Especially you. You’ve gone the longest without food,” I say as I set the bag down on her small bedside table. “Here: Your coffee, complete with hazelnut creamer.”
“Thanks.” Iris stirs in the creamer and takes a sip. “Mm. I needed that.”
I wag an admonishing finger at her. “Remember what the nurse said. Just one cup.”
Iris sighs. “Yeah. I know. I almost can’t believe it, but while you were gone he told me they did ultrasounds when they admitted me to confirm it. Three weeks along, I guess. The nurse says it can happen, even with the IUD. Like, it’s a ridiculous chance, but here we are.”
My hand shakes as I pass a box of food to Iris. I keep my eyes on the food, afraid to see her expression. Is she happy? Terrified? Excited?
We all eat in silence for several minutes. Hailey finishes her food first and crawls into the bed with Iris, lying next to her and resting her head on Iris’s chest. The poor girl falls asleep with a spot of ketchup still on her chin, and I lick my thumb and wipe it off in true Dad fashion.
Iris and I sit there quietly watching her sleep before the uncertainty wears at me enough to goad me into asking her the burning question on my mind. Though I fear the answer, I have to know.
“How do you feel about it?”
She swallows her bite, and out of the corner of my eye I see her look over at me. “The pregnancy, you mean?”
I nod. It’s all I can manage for an answer. My mouth has suddenly dried up, drier than the Sahara. My tongue feels thick and heavy, sticking to the roof of my mouth and making speech impossible.
“I’m not going to lie, Micah. I’m scared. This is a really shitty time to get pregnant. I’m suddenly out of a job, and I’ve got the stress of a car accident to deal with on top of that. I’ll be spending the next several months dealing with insurance companies and car rentals and doctors, all while trying to find somewhere else to work. If I can’t scrounge up enough money to keep up payments on the house, I could fall behind on my HOA fees. Karen’s going to jump at the chance to foreclose on me.”
I manage to pry my mouth open for a second, but I close it again. I’ve tried asking Iris to move in with me, and she’s made it clear that she’s not comfortable with that idea.
“That being said, Micah …” Iris takes my hand in hers. “I know it’s got to be a scary and confusing time for you, too. You’ve been asking me to move in, and now you probably feel obligated to insist. I don’t want you to think this is all your responsibility, and I don’t want you making any life-altering decisions based on this. If you’re not ready to be a second-time dad, I’ll figure this out. All I would ask is a little financial help until I can get back on my feet.”
My throat threatens to close up as tears well in my eyes. “You don’t want to raise the baby with me?” My voice cracks at the end of the question, and I duck my head in shame.
“That’s not what I’m trying to say.” Her hands cup my chin and raise it, forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Micah, it hasn’t been that long since you lost Lisa. You’re still learning how to be a single dad, and now I’ve gone and thrown a major monkey wrench in that routine. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t think you were ready for another kid yet.”
I cover her steady hands with my shaking ones, hoping she doesn’t mistake the tremor for doubt. “Iris, as long as it’s with you, I’m ready for whatever. One more kid, two, three, a dozen—as long as you’re healthy, and they’re all healthy, that’s all that matters. I love you, Iris. I mean that with all my heart. When I ask you to move in with me, it’s not out of convenience or obligation; it’s out of love. Well, love and selfishness. I want you with me all the time. I don’t want to watch you through our bedroom windows. As hot as that was, I’d much rather have you there in the room with me.”
She grins and blushes, that adorable blush that I just can’t get enough of. “Even when I’m big as a house?”
