“Ye arna shitty tis?—”
“Torin, I love you, but I don’t want you to tell me that the way I am behaving, thinking only of myself and my sadness, is okay and normal. My brother just made such a difficult decision, one that goes against his happiness, and I’m sobbing into tissues I carry around in my sleeve. Don’t repeat all the things you usually say to make me feel oh-so-much-better, this is a matter of life and death, people I don’t even know about to draw blood or be killed for my cause. I need to pull up my big-girl panties and mount up. Don’t tell me I’m good, tell me that we have more important things to deal with — I need to get out of my head.”
He chuckled. “Och, ye are bossin’ me.”
“Day one of marriage and yes, bossing you, it’s part of my princess-ness. You’ll have to suffer. And be obedient. And order me to suffer and be obedient.”
He said, “I will be obedient and tell ye that all around is life and death. Yer brother kens it, he has made a good decision and he will be the better for it. Ye are dealin’ with hard things, but ye are strong and ye need tae mount up. Part of being the princess is ye are the ‘cause’ and ye need for all these hundreds of men, especially the twenty troops who are goin’ tae go tae battle taenight, tae think ye are a cause worth fighting for.”
“Damn, that’s a lot of pressure.”
“Aye, tis. Ye canna dwell on yer past and all that has happened tae ye. Ye need tae embrace yer new family and convince everyone tae win ye and Max the throne.Thenwhen we are sitting at the table in yer big castle, eatin’ pizza, ye can look at me across the table and say, ‘now that we hae won, Torin, I feel terrible about the things that hae happened tae me,’ and I will say, ‘Och, ye hae long suffered in silence, Princess, ye hae the strength of ten men!’ and then ye will weep and I will comfort ye. All will be well after.”
I joked, “It’s very hard to suffer in silence, I will need you to say I have the strength of a hundred men.”
“Ye will hae the strength of thousands, Princess, because ye hae an army gathered, men who are willin’ tae die for yer bloodline — ye canna be weak.”
I said sleepily, “I won’t be weak, you’re right, I will put the grief off and instead I will just marvel that I have gained such a large family: a brother, a husband, three new uncles, a bunch of inconsequential cousins, and an aunt in basically a day. How did I get so lucky?”
His voice said, low behind my ear, “That’s m’girl.”
I turned in his arms and looked up at his face. “I love you so much.”
“I ken, mo leannan, I love ye as well.” He kissed me and tucked his face in that spot between my shoulder and neck and with his solid mass half on me, holding, comforting, weighty and big, we both fell asleep in the Barn on the edge of a usurped kingdom.
When I woke up,many hours later, I was disoriented and alone.
Where was Torin?
There was murmuring beyond the temporary wall. I climbed from the bed and used the bathroom, looking in the mirror. I was a wreck. I thought about using the shower, but what would I change into?
I unlatched my suitcase and peered in: I had brought so many pairs of underwear and socks. I dug through. Not really anything to wear. An oversupply of makeup in colors and shades I hadn’t worn in years. I had also, inexplicably, stuffed a bunch of random stuff from my bedside table: a framed photo of my parents, the ones who raised me; a book light but no books; and weirdly the remote control for my bedroom’s TV. None of this was helpful. And if I somehow ended up in my bedroom without my remote control I was going to be bummed. Lying in the middle of the case was the carved wooden lamb that I had found just hours ago.
There was a quick rap on the door. “Tis yer Aunt Claray, I hae brought ye something tae wear.” I opened the door and peeked out, she was holding a bundle of luxuriant fabric. ThankGod.
“Twas yer mother’s, I believe twill be a good fit for ye.”
“It’s been a decade, where did you get it?”
“We hae some of their things in storage. I thought this would be comfortable for the evening. If tis not I will go get ye another.”
I looked down on the bundle. “It’s sky blue brocade, my favorite color, it’s gorgeous.”
“Twas your mother’s favorite color as well.”
I put the bundle down on the bed and began panties and a bra, too. I didn’t need them but they were obviously very nice. I looked them over, and figured out that they would fit.My mother wore the same size.
I rubbed my temples. There was so much going on and my head hurt. I asked, “Do you time travel a lot bychoice?”
“Are ye still achin’ from the jump?”
“Yes, how do you deal with the pain of it?”
Aunt Claray turned around and raised the back of her hair. “See the gold thread there? It keeps the pain from coming. I will give ye?—”
My eyes went wide. “I have one in my locket! I never knew what it was for!” I held out the locket and clicked it open, showing her the gold thread.
“That is exactly what it is, let me put it on ye, in case a jump happens — they hae a way of sneaking up on ye, ye ken, ye will need tae be ready.” She adhered the golden thread to the back of my head.
